While reading one of Jeff Lieber's diaries a few weeks ago, it occurred to me that it would be intriguing, if not somewhat titillating, to learn how our Kossack community, after leaving it all on the road intends to experience the historical evening of November 4, 2008.
Now, before all you hand-wringers out there start screaming, "It's too early to celebrate; We haven't won this yet; OMG they could steal the election," etc. etc. etc., just remember: The Obama campaign plans for all contingencies. So if we are to follow the shining example of our exalted leader, then we must be prepared too. After all, decks need to be cleared, beverages of choice purchased and put on ice, and all pre, during and post evening medications procured and at the ready regardless of the outcome.
With such a beautifully diverse (and sometimes deliciously demented) family here, whose efforts have impacted so many races and issues around the country in so many passionate and creative ways, I was wondering how prepared are you for The Big Reveal? So, along with a peak under my own covers, it is with great pleasure that I attempt my first, that all-American pre-election ritual...The Poll. Freepers and trolls welcome!
Now, this poll is not just to ease my insatiable curiosity, but also to validate how and where I execute my “good riddance to the worst administration in the worrrrld (with nod to KO)" send-off, and to hopefully ring in an era of "peace and prosperity" with my Tom Cruise "Old Time Rock & Roll" happy dance. You see I have a dilemma! The age of my all-night-party-til-you-puke days has long since passed me by, but with a seriously over-active adrenaline, I will most certainly be up all night anyway. Hey, maybe I won't be the last one in the pool over at BiPM's place for once! That morning's Cheers & Jeers is sure to be epic and one I intend to frame for posterity.
However, as far as my plans for earlier festivities are concerned, I’m not my best in crowds. My bum knee doesn't afford me the luxury of standing comfortably for long periods of time at public events (particularly while imbibing, which greatly increases my odds of tipping over.) This, and my obsessive need to control the TV remote, pretty much rules out the socially popular and more intimate, standup cocktail party at a friend's house. And besides, if I’m away from my computer, I can’t view the live feed from Jeff Lieber’s driveway of the most anticipated celebration of them all. You are going to broadcast this live aren't you Jeff?
When Elwyn Tinklenberg is announced the winner I will strip off my clothes and shave off all the hair on my body and do the funky chicken and speak in tongues, quoting only Bruce Springsteen lyrics, and paint one of the cats puce and assault random strangers with acts of great affection and drink alcohol until I throw up everything I will have eaten over the last two weeks and maybe, just maybe, consider having a THIRD CHILD just so I can name him or her Elwyn Tinklenberg.
Ah yes...I'd say Jeff is definitely in "preparation" mode with a well-thought out plan for his evening! (Somebody might want to give Mrs. Jeff...and the cat...a heads up though...just in case!)
Well, back to my own plans, as humble as they may be. Another issue I face, as I’ve respectfully confessed above, is being one of those dastardly obnoxious “channel changers” who must dominate the TV remote, (while simultaneously browsing the Internet on my computer) flicking back and forth between what our beloved Keith and Rachel have to say, and hopefully savoring the agony of defeat of all of those right wing water-carriers we have suffered so long. So I guess that pretty much counts out a watch-party at my house, as I would not want to inflict this schizophrenic behavior on even my most well-adjusted friends, (which is a shame since I'm known for giving damn good parties!)
Oh well! And as for my immediate family, other than my 18-year-old daughter who wants to be a “communications specialist” for Progressive Democrats when she graduates from college, they are all either Republican ass-hats or none-voting ostriches with their heads stuck in the sand. You know the type, "All politicians are crooks and liars, so why vote?" despite passionate pleas and mounds of evidence offered to the contrary. (This gives more credence to my long-held theory that I must have been adopted as the DNA certainly is questionable in this case!) So forget the Normal Rockwell scene around the fireplace; it's been a rough year on this front as well. Even my daughter, whom I simply adore and am so proud of, is having to work that night at one of the three jobs she's holding down while going to college full-time. (Please Dems...some help here with college tuition and high interest rates on her loans...OK?)
Also, I am sad to say, that I don’t currently have one of those cherished “significant others” to do the Let’s f..k to celebrate thing, so I will be missing out on that oh so human pleasure of a kiss and a hug (and other more intimate acts) during one the most hoped for transformative moments in our planet’s history. Gee, I wonder, "If a simple power outage could spark a population boom nine months later in New York, imagine what an Obama win could do to trigger one around the world?" Ah...yes!
But alas, I do have my little dog who with all of her eight pound soaking wet body, does not run and hide under the bed when she’s been confronted with the all-too-many screaming Bushco rants I've hurled at the television over the past eight years. (Remember, I said we need to be prepared for all possibilities!) Hide all sharp objects and if you are a shrink, then you need to be standing by with wards of bunk bed couches at the ready! Hopefully, though they will all be filled Wednesday morning with Republican zombies caught wandering the streets crying out for their mommies and mumbling something about a bitch from Alaska, but...you never know!
Anyway, my little woozle, instead of cowering at the rage of a woman who probably for the sake of society should be restrained in a straight jacket, races to my side with tiny tail wags and puppy dog licks to try and sooth the “savage beast.” You see, she came into my life at ten weeks/two pounds during the 2000 Presidential election and it's aftermath...and we all know how that went! So she's grown up with loud outbursts of flaming profanity and extended crying jags, and as a first-responder, she deals accordingly, wisely administering her version of first aid. She indeed is the ultimate blood-pressure medication, along with you guys here at DailyKos. Thank goodness for miracles in small packages and for all you Pootie & Woozle supporters as well. You see, I'm one of the 47 million without health insurance, so I rely on you and my little puppy dog to keep that blood pressure in check.
Well, that brings me back around to The Big Night. Since I’ve ruled out public and private gatherings, it looks like I’ll probably be an attendee at the biggest watch-party of them all (other than in Chicago with Barack of course)…right here on the DailyKos, with the friends who helped pull me through the bad times, and who gave me more belly laughs than a hundred Daily Shows. I tear up just thinking about you, so know there will be plenty of room under my covers if you'd like to join me, my computer (and little dog too!) Just BYOC - Bring Your Own Computer, and don't count on seeing the remote!
Well no matter how you celebrate or express your emotions at the results, one way or the other, this will be one for the ages. Now let’s all leave it on the road and GOTV, so we can BRING THIS ONE HOME in a landslide!