Ok, this isn't just for the 4th of July, it's for any summer occasion that calls for one of those quaint, little outdoor food fairs which uses the "ticket" system. And ok, it's not particularly political either. That's why I made it a 4th of July diary ... just so I can moan, and have it be topical And even worse, when I'm finished you're going to wrinkle your nose, and say, "Well I knew
that!"
I didn't.
I just paid $10 for a $6 Sausage. Let's do the math
You've been to at least one. They're the summer food festivals in just about every major city. The food's ... eh! But you know support your community, get out and mingle and all that rot. And they use this clever little ticket system wherein you don't buy anything without first visiting the ticket booth and buying a strip of little "admit one" tickets. They come in strips of varying deonominations; $10, right up to the family value pack of 30 clams. Doesn't seem like too steep a deal, does it? But while I was gagging back this charcoal-choked carcinogen sandwich and contemplating where to get a 2-pack of Tagamet, it occurred to me.
There is nothing ... I mean nothing ... for less than 6 bucks. So what?
Here's the scam. Everyone agrees to keep their price at $6 and up, but I can't buy less than $10 worth of tickets. And I can't redeem the tickets for cash before I leave. The only thing I can get for cold, hard, cash is the from the little Fresh Lemonade booth, which frankly is the only thing I end up wanting more of.
Have you ever walked away from one of those things without at least two tickets in your pocket? No. You either buy more tickets to be able to afford the french fries and banana smoothie, and only leave with one ticket ... or you tip the kitty 4 bucks.
Now, times that buy how many suckers wander through this heartburn hell. Let's say 20 thousand people, all smiling and swallowing what might very well be the meal that leaves them in a sitting position, and dropping Tums like they were valium for the next three days ... all leaving the festival with two tickets in their pocket.
That's 40 thousand dollars. That's a 4 "G" TIP!!!
Let's say 3 tickets! 60 Grand for absolutely NOTHING!!
Get everyone to go home and pull FOUR worthless green 50/50 raffle multi use piece of crap tickets out of their pockets (and wonder whether we should save them incase they're worth something later,) AND THAT'S 80 THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!!!!
By the third year, these people should be putting these goddam food taste fest vomit-o-thon heartburn hoedowns FOR FREE!!!!
Ok, I feel better ... oh wait ...
(urp)
... ok, better.