I just left the voting booth about half and hour ago, and I still can't get control of my emotions. The vote I just cast could change the lives of millions - it is the first one in my forty-five years that brought me to tears. Because I remember...
- I remember being a 16 year old baby dyke in Mississippi, in love with my best friend, with no one to talk to who would make me feel better about myself...
- I remember the day that I married my first husband, the one who abused me physically and mentally for four years, because my preacher told me that "God says we marry for life"...
- I remember the day I finally got the courage to leave, only to have my mother say, "we won't be able to hold our heads up in church again"...
- I remember marrying once again, because my mother's friend said, "You have to give your mother grandchildren. She has no other child to do it."...
- I remember the day - after two divorces, two premature babies born alive but who died within one day, two lesbian relationships kept deep in the closet and three months spent wondering where my life was going - that I decided to accept myself and try to be happy...
- and I remember the day I moved to California to start that new life, believing that California would be more accepting...
I remembered all of those things as I stood in that voting booth, and I started to cry. Not for me, because I have found happiness and the contentment with my decisions that age brings. No - I cried for all of those young people who won't have to make those decisions. I cried because with that one vote, I have a voice in changing the future. I cried with the hope that they will be able to marry the person they choose - of the same sex - without questioning by society or church. Those kids can one day buy a house without wondering about whether the next door neighbors "figure it out", or if they are listening through the open windows. They can move in together and not have to keep two bedrooms, in case the relatives come to visit. They can bring their spouses to the company picnic with pride, and can show pictures of their kids without having to explain the complicated version of their birth. Because they will have a marriage, and no one will question a marriage license. Yes, it might take a little time for people to get use to it - but in a few years there won't be a difference.
I walked out of the booth a woman with her head held high. I felt good, empowered and just happy that I made a vote that could change lives. And then, I walked through the parking lot and saw a parade of "yes on 8" stickers on the cars. Then I felt fear - real fear that none of the things I envision for the future will become a reality.
Please...go out today, with whatever time is left, and talk to people. For those who might be on the fence, a few words might make all the difference. Don't necessarily do it for those of us who are here - but for those of us who will come later. They will be your children and grandchildren - and they will know that you changed their lives. Because this is a vote that will be talked about for generations.