I have something to tell you, and I'm sorry if I stumble on my words. I'm sorry if I'm repeating something you've heard a dozen times already; nobody with this in his heart should be silent.
First, I am going to be open about something that I never, ever, discuss in public. I am bisexual. Some people assume I am gay because of my voice and accent, and others assume I am straight because I am in a committed relationship with a woman. These assumptions usually don't matter to me, because it is none of their business.
But 52% of us have decided it is, haven't they?
Since Tuesday, I've been absolutely torn. As an American, my heart swells with pride and triumph at the election of Barack Obama and the potential he represents. As a Californian, I feel utterly and completely betrayed, hated, broken-hearted at the cruelty of those who decided to steal the equality of others. It's eating me up.
Yesterday, I was talking to my landlord, who is a wonderful older gay man whose whole life has been spent working on behalf of nonprofit charitable causes, and had to be the one to tell him that Prop 8 didn't need a 2/3 majority to pass, like he thought.
That conversation left him feeling betrayed, hated, broken-hearted as well.
There's something I want to tell you. It's something that Harvey Milk tried to tell you in 1978.
And that night, I walked among the sad and the frustrated at City Hall in San Francisco and later that night as they lit candles on Castro Street and stood in silence, reaching out for some symbolic thing that would give them hope. These were strong people, people whose faces I knew from the shop, the streets, meetings and people who I never saw before but I knew. They were strong, but even they needed hope.
It's very hard to have hope, right now.
There are folks that I trust, trying to give us this hope. I know that the ACLU is suing the state, arguing that amendments brought by the initiative system lack scope to enjoin fundamental rights. I know that the City of San Francisco is also taking legal action. I know that HRC will fight this, and the facebook group Californians Ready To Repeal Prop 8 already has 57,000 members.
Still, it isn't working. I'm worried about the emotional impact that this unprecedented loss of human rights will have on people in the gay community. Over the course of the campaign against prop 8, I was horribly aware of how much fatalism already infected the community. And now that they've been told they're not human? That they have no rights? That their dignity and independence are less respected by their fellow Californians than that of CHICKENS?
And, what can we do about it? What can we do, those of us who aren't a part of this community, or who are just bundled into the edge? In the same speech as the quote above, Harvey Milk suggested that they can't do a whole damn lot.
The anger and the frustrations that some of us feel is because we are misunderstood, and friends can’t feel that anger and frustration. They can sense it in us, but they can’t feel it. Because a friend has never gone through what is known as coming out. I will never forget what it was like coming out and having nobody to look up toward. I remember the lack of hope–and our friends can’t fulfill that.
Now, I love Harvey Milk, who was murdered when I was 3. As a child in San Francisco, he was one of my heroes. As an adult in Oakland, he still is... Harvey Milk was an early example of the immense justice embodied by progressive beliefs, and of the inspiring power possible when those beliefs are wed to populist strategies. In many ways, he was my Dr King.
And no matter how much I respect him, I can NOT think that he was right about this. He said, "our friends can't fulfill that," but now we live in a world where 52% of voters have somehow been allowed to steal away our rights. In this world, the only way to regain these rights is to let our friends give us hope. We need them.
I can’t forget the looks on faces of people who’ve lost hope.
I'm seeing that look on a lot of people I love, these days.
So please, do what you can to give hope to your fellow man. Blog about it. Join groups on facebook or myspace. Write letters to the newspaper. Tell everyone you see with freedom rings or a pink triangle that you will FIGHT for their rights. Go to your local gay bar. BLAST "Go West" from your car speakers whenever you're stuck at a red light.
Just... just do absolutely everything you can to make these people feel loved, supported. Let them know that you won't give up on them. Tell them that you will STAY on the road back to equality with them.
I think that the community of friends will be very important in the coming days.
I'd like to leave you with one other bit from Harvey Milk.
All men are created equal. No matter how hard you try, you can NEVER erase those words!
PS: Also, please watch this video: