I know that many in the community here, and rightly so, are ready to move past emotionally cathartic posts about their feelings on the election. Yet I wanted to type out my little story here for myself if for no one else. A little of my own background might make this a bit more interesting for some readers.
I was a racist in my youth. I'm now 35 years old and was raised in Monroe Louisiana.The town in which I was raised was still fairly segregated. There were only a couple black students in my elementary school, one of whom was of mixed race. I really wish I could say that I was friendly to her, but the fact was that I tended to ignore her along with most of my peers.
Although my folks were avowedly non-racist my experience with my peers led me to hold some, in retrospect, embarassing views about race. To my eyes at the time, blacks held menial jobs, did not use "proper" English and didn't act "right." I was utterly ignorant about the legacies of slavery, segregation, and the outright terrorist activities of local whites that marginalized blacks and relegated them to menial positions or outright unemployment.
It wasn't until I moved to the Dallas area as a ninth grader that I met a black student in my school who, according to my own metrics of intelligence, was undoubtedly smarter than me. To be sure, I doubtlessly met many highly intelligent blacks back in Monroe, but my understanding of what defined intelligence was based on a middle-class white lifestyle that was denied to them.
Needless to say, meeting that student really thew me through a loop. I had to dramatically reconfigure the way I thought about people. Over the years I learned about the social conditions that gave rise to the gross inequalities I witnessed as a youth in Louisiana. The history of race and racism ended up fascinating me so much that I eventually entered a PhD program in History. Yet I arrogantly believed I had reached some sort of racial enlightenment, that because of my upbringing I understood race and racism better than many of my white peers.
Now for the Obama campaign. I feel like I've just learned another lesson, one just as important as the one I learned as an adolescent in Dallas. When I heard that someone named Obama was running for president, I dismissed the idea out of hand. I remember saying, "this country will never elect a black president." As a democrat, I quickly settled on John Edwards as my choice in the primaries. I caucused for him here in Iowa.
When Obama did so well here I gave him a second look. It became increasingly clear to me that Obama was something different- brilliant, eloquent, and honest. Despite this, my cynicism remained.
As someone who came of age (in a political sense) in the age of right-wing ascendency, I've seen a lot of disappointment. American voters had let me down again and again. Yet in this election something extraordinary happened. My country surprised me. America is better than I gave it credit for.
I've learned something about myself too. Cynicism is paralyzing. I shouldn't underestimate the ability of great men and women to change paradigms. And most importantly, I feel that I can move from being just glad to be an American, to being proud to be an American. I regret that I sold the country short. I will always be grateful to those who chanmpioned Obama's campaign for the very beginning. Their enthusiasm which I once believed naive is now an inspiration.