I am usually a cynic, so forgive my indulgence of my alter ego optimism for a minute. I guess I just hadn't fully considered how I would feel with the election over and my preferred candidate since the moment he ran, Barack Obama, elected president.
I am usually a cynic, so forgive my indulgence of my alter ego optimism for a minute. I guess I just hadn't fully considered how I would feel with the election over and my preferred candidate since the moment he ran, Barack Obama, elected president. I have followed his career since the 2004 Democratic Convention where he gave the first of many incredible speeches on a national scale. Soon after he declared he would run for president in Springfield, Illinois, I donated to his campaign. As a political junkie born in Washington, DC, I have always followed politics, local and national, and I followed this race very closely for almost the entirety of the campaign. I remember the whole process, just about, in the words of various op-eds, blogs, pundits, and the like. What I do not remember is at what point I turned off the emotion, or at least, when my feeling became one of detached observance.
But right now, a few days after the election, I am fully coming to terms with what this election means. It is truly an incredible moment in human history. As a commentator on the MSNBC election night broadcast noted, this was not only an incredible moment, but an incredible moment that we chose to embrace, making it all the sweeter. In my years on this earth, there has not been a moment quite like this one. There was 9/11, which struck fear in the hearts of the population, and the Iraq war, a war of choice that really wasn't our choice. Those were big moments. But there is something truly special about the democratic process, that moment when the people's voice is definitively heard, that makes this extra special, especially when it is fully heard as rejected fear and choosing progress, hope, and change. Too often, despite the power vested in we, the people, by our system, we give in to the tyranny of the possible, the unfeeling coldness of the reality of living in an imperfect world. We rarely encounter the extraordinary, and the march of progress throughout history has served to weaken our sense of wonder and decrease the likelihood of encountering it. But that only makes this moment all the greater.
I am twenty years old. I can honestly say that despite much to be thankful for, my life has increased in difficulty and decreased in happiness the longer I live. I have had it very tough emotionally in my relationship with my family, something I am slowly coming to terms with on my own terms, a very difficult process in itself. As the economy slowed under Bush and the strain on middle class families increased, we ran into financial difficulties that piled on top of each other until the pain, the burden, the strain of looking each other in the eyes was too much to bear sometimes. I've always been hyperaware of financial issues in my family since I was young, and the stress of carrying them, and just how difficult it is to stay afloat in a sea that is rising so rapidly it threatens to drown you. And the sea makes no bones about the losses it causes. Its hard to see inspiration when you are in that position. It just seems so far away, that the easiest thing to do is retreat. "Cling" to something, if you will. At a certain distance from happiness, hope is a burdensome weight that is the first thing to be thrown overboard to save a sinking ship.
But this moment right here. This is something I will hold onto. In his acceptance speech, Barack said, "For those who doubt...doubt no more." Coming from him, with his story and his words, those were powerful words that resonated with me. Well Barack, I can doubt no longer. I believe. Not necessarily in you, though I like you, don't get me wrong. But you know the score, because you said it yourself, time and again. This election was not about you, despite Senator McCain's best attempts. This is about us. This is about the strength and resilience of America, of the idea of America. This is about our willingness to believe in ourselves. You offered us that chance, to make this a referendum on believing in ourselves, and not only did we choose to challenge ourselves in the primary, we passed that challenge on November 4th. This is sweet, sweet victory, a rare, fresh, wild something to be savored like few things in life. I have seen inspiration in a few places. One of the most inspiring quotes I have heard is from Dr. King, who said "The arc of the universe is long, but it bends towards justice." But it was not until we reached this moment that I felt the truth of that statement. I have had my faith in America vindicated at a time when it was vitally important that we regain that faith. This is one aspect of the story regarding the youth movement that carried Obama to victory that is missed by those who talk about it. This is the opposite of Chicago '68, where so many dreams died. As a generation we have witnessed the power of our collective action. We are a generation of facebookers and youtube and getting together to do something about the problems that face us, the hip hop generation. I have never been prouder of my generation then now.
I am sad that many of my heroes could not be here today to witness this, because it confirms so much that they exhibited in their character that exemplified the greatness of America, and have taught me much. Martin Luther King, JFK and RFK, writers like Hunter S. Thompson and Kurt Vonnegut, Ella Baker. Many more. I wish they were alive to see this, if only to restore some fundamental sense of hope that they famously yearned for and persisted in asserting the existence of at the heart of the American soul. There are too few heroes in this world, and it seems they always leave us before we reach the promised land, reenacting the biblical stories over and over. Perhaps Aaron Eckhart's line in The Dark Knight is correct, "You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain." Perhaps. But for me, a hero is someone who has left an indelible mark on my person, on my soul, who has affected the course of my development in an important way. They don't need to be held up as gods or cast as villains. My sister is my hero. My girlfriend is my hero. Those mentioned previously are my heroes, as is Barack Obama. None are perfect but I would not be the same without them. But I must say that my greatest hero is you, you being the American people who made this happen. We must look to ourselves in the future to save ourselves. Only we are worthy of our trust, not any politician, including Obama. We must not let up in our quest for justice and equality, as represented by their ideal forms. We may not get their in our life time, but we can achieve great things as long as we keep our eyes on the prize. We must aim for the moon and content ourselves with landing among the stars if we must, the path of human existence it seems. But we can do this. Yes, we can.
I have burned slowly throughout my life, full of a kind of detached anger that led me through many dark alleys and false exits of the mind. That feeling scares me, has led me to fear and reject anything that would force me to confront it until very recently. I have begun to embrace that part of me, to learn to direct it, but it is a slow process, too slow for my liking. This moment though....I have obsessively accounted for the presence of the real in my life. I have become keenly aware of the reality of the emotions that I feel, as a result of the detachment that I have felt. Very few moments qualify...but this definitely qualifies. This is real, I can feel it, and if I can feel it, you know it must be real. I don't know where we go from here, but I am looking forward to finding out.
We've got work to do. Let's get to it.