BFSkinner has a recommended diary looking to form a bridge between the various communities here at dKos. In that spirit, I'd like to share a story about my own evolving views of sexual orientation and how I should express them.
So just follow me beyond the jump...
I've spent almost all of my life in North Carolina, a place that's rapidly changing, but which can be awfully socially conservative nonetheless. And while I grew up with friends of other races, I didn't have any gay friends (that I knew about) until I went to college. So I didn't have any strong negative feelings or anything, but I didn't have strong positive feelings, either.
It took one of my good friends from high school coming out when we were in college to shock me out of that. Then when I graduated, I went to teach in a public high school in a smallish town not far from a biggish city in NC. It was a tough year, needless to say. But the worst part of it was one of the last days I worked there, after classes were over. I knew I was leaving for grad school the next week, but I still had to attend diversity training, mandatory for all faculty and staff.
We had made it through the most obvious things, mainly race and income, which are obviously major issues to take into account when dealing with a diverse group of students. Challenging stuff. But then one of the moderators made a comment about sexual orientation--something along the lines of whether anyone would like to talk about that next.
The principal audibly scoffed.
A history instructor, also the sponsor for the FCA--a usually cheerful fat man who once came out to my apartment with jumper cables when my car wouldn't stop--jumped in to say that he didn't have to defend his "heterosexual orientation," so why should we have to discuss this issue at all? Or something. I honestly don't remember his argument, but it didn't make much sense.
My hand went up. I tried hard to stay within the rules--no referring to anyone by name, etc.--but god, it was hard. But I spoke about my student who was clearly having a difficult time finding her place in the world. Sure, all high schoolers go through this, but for her a major part of that was figuring out what it meant to be attracted to girls. Students get away with liking stupid or harmful things like blowing off homework or doing drugs, but a girl liking girls? Clearly over the line.
I talked about my high school friend, whose parents in a tiny town in NC had finally gotten to the point where they said they were okay with him being gay, so long as he didn't "practice." I had known how much he loved his parents, so it was obvious how much it hurt that he wouldn't be able to tell them about the wonderful man he had started dating.
There was plenty more I could have mentioned, like one of the best assignments I had all year. I gave the students a fascinating article on intersex children, at a reading level far above what they were accustomed to, and had them write responses to it. While I would usually get a handful of assignments turned in, almost everyone wrote it. I was blown away. But then I got called into the principal's office: a parent had called, and told him that I was teaching my students about gays and lesbians. Yes, because this great fear of the Homosexual Other is so pervasive that it spills over into unrelated areas.
I may not have been particularly eloquent. I may not have changed anyone's opinion that day. But, well...I can't imagine having not said that. And at lunch afterward, multiple teachers--a little old lady who taught English comes to mind right now--came up and told me how glad they were that someone said that, because they were thinking of it, too.
I'd like to think that the vast majority of dKos members would have said something that day. And you know what? That's what sets this place apart. I'm not gay, so it's not going to affect me directly if everyone thinks non-heterosexuals are fundamentally less worthy of respect or consideration (though to be sure, I'm directly affected by how my gay friends and relatives--it turns out I have some!--are treated). But it certainly means something to me to be part of a community where that opinion is not held by the majority, or even 20 or 10%. There's always more that could be done, but being on the right track means something, too. Not always enough of course, but I hope it still means something.
You never lost this small part of the "straight community."