...on the whole gay marriage thing.
Personally, I don't give a fuck about Rick Warren. I think it was an attempt at reaching across the aisle that unfortunately caught the GLBT comm in the face with a smelly-ass armpit full of "oops." But I've been wondering what it is that Obama is missing that an otherwise extremely intelligent man like himself shouldn't be missing, that he would not understand the outrage.
And in the related videos on YouTube to this epic West Wing religious bitch-slap, I found a bit from Obama's 2004 debate with the mirror universe Obama, Alan Keyes (he's even got the facial hair!) that I think made it all make sense. (Obama starts at about 2:00 in)
Keep going for a transcription of the key part, and why I think it's important if we hope to talk some sense into our President-Elect.
Well Laura to answer your question [what would you do if your child came out to you as a homosexual], I would love that child and seek to understand them and support them in any way that I could. Uh... This is obviously an issue that Mr. Keyes has based and premised a lot of his campaign on. I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. But I also detest the sort of bashing and vilifying of gays and lesbians...because I think it's unduly divisive. It's unnecessary. Most gays and lesbians are simply seeking basic recognition of their rights, uh, so that they're not discriminated against in employment, that they're not discriminated against with respect to renting a house, that they are able to visit their partner in a hospital, that they can transfer property. Those I think are, in the words of Vice President Cheney, rights for everybody. Not just for some people.
The part I put in bold, right here, THIS is the problem we have to work on, folks. It's not "bigotry" or "homophobia," it's downright cluelessness. Mr. Obama, yes. Of course gay & lesbian couples want all those things that you listed. But that you could seriously think that is ALL they want is absolutely mind-boggling. Keyes's idiotic declaration that any union that cannot bear children is useless was worse, but hey, it's Alan Keyes, I expect this shit out of him.
President-Elect Obama, I don't know what kind of movies your wife likes. She might be too badass for "chick flicks." And after hearing your fear of a little girly yappy dog in the Barbara Walters interview, I get the feeling you are the type that would run in terror at the words "There's a Hugh Grant marathon on cable, let's watch!" Hell, I think romantic comedies suck too. But I am begging you to watch them. Maybe your daughters can help. I know you're busy, but let Rahm or Joe Biden handle shit for a day, put down the blackberry, and watch some shitty girl movies.
I want you to pay attention, not to how ridiculous the premises are, or even to how any gay characters (probably the "best friend" of the female lead) are portrayed. A lot of these movies involve marriage. I want you to pay attention to WHY these people are getting married.
Do you hear any lines like this?
"He's just perfect. I dream about visiting him in the hospital someday."
"You complete me. So we should complete & file our income tax returns together."
"I'm too embarrassed, I can't tell her that I want to get my company health care plan to cover her!"
Hell, how many times do you hear "I want to reproduce with you!" in these shitty movies? No, Mr. President-Elect, you did not sleep through the part where J-Lo says that. Because to Americans, no matter what some people like to hem and haw about, marriage is not all about legal strings. It's not all about reproducing, or religion - childless & atheist couples marry all the time.
Love, Mr. President-Elect. It's about LOVE. And from the terrible movies that I forced you to sit through, to those terrible DeBeers commercials on TV, to that last Beyonce song, our society has beaten into us that if you really, really love someone and want to show your commitment to them, if you want to show that you are in a mature, adult relationship that is not just about sex, that has permanency and legitimacy in the eyes of others, YOU MARRY THEM. Ask your buddy Oprah how many people have nagged her about Steadman for the last 20-something years. Ask my favorite aunt why she married her husband, even though neither of them wanted (and they never had) kids. It wasn't so she could get his insurance payout when he died of cancer. It was because she loved him more than anyone in the world, and wanted to stay with him for the rest of their lives.
Shit, look at your wife. Sure, you have kids, and I'm sure you have shared bank accounts and all that junk. But when I see you look at Michelle, I know damn well that is not all you are thinking about, and not the only reasons you married her (incidentally your wife is #2 under Rosario Dawson on my list of women I would go gay for, but maybe you don't need to know that). I can see it in your face, and that's one of the reasons I voted for you. So look at her, and take a note of those emotions you feel.
So when gay and lesbian couples tell you that civil unions are not enough, please don't think "but I'm letting them rent apartments together! what's the big deal?" Think about Michelle. THAT'S the big deal, sir. I guess if you haven't figured that out yet, what they say about smart people sometimes having no common sense is true.