The Democratic Party is nothing more than a coalition of interest groups working to attain political power to achieve their individual objectives. The interest groups have broad similar goals, but in particulars often are just as divided as Democrats and Republicans. How do coalitions of such differing views get formed? How do they survive? Coalitions survive only so far as the members feel like membership in the coalition best serves their interest. This is a vice-versa type relationship by the way for a member only is allowed in the coalition just in case the member is seen to further the collective interests of the coalition.
This must be understood in our system to get past things like Rick Warren and the anger surrounding it. It is healthy and intelligent for the homosexual community in the Democratic Party to express their anger. This is a coalition member flexing their muscle in the face of a slight. It is a slight after all because it does highlight an attempt by the current leader in the party to bring in more members of the coalition that are against the interest of the homosexual community. It may seem sterile to examine this issue from such an angle, but I think we have enough emotion already cast into the matter from all sides. And emotion is the last thing this needs to be met with.
Here is the deal. I, as a straight white male, can not understand the problems of the gay community. I just can not do it. No matter how many diaries documenting your pain and loss that I read, it will not happen. No matter what any straight person may say or do to help your cause, they can not know your pain and anger. We can not know your alienation. We just can not do it because it is not ours. Be wary of those that claim to feel your pain even if they are Bill Clinton. Your pain is your own. It is up to you to represent it and your interest to stop that pain from happening again.
With the above hopefully sinking in let me explain how this coalition thing works. Coalitions are constantly striving to increase the members and therefore the power of the coalition to better enact the collective interest. This is shown by Barack Obama's reaching out to poach any and all evangelicals who, like Rick Warren, are domestically conscious on global warming and poverty. What the homosexual community sees as a betrayal of their particular interest is seen by others, outside their particular interest, as a collective power grab to further the broader goals of the entire coalition. That is to say, if there were no broader appeal to various coalition members in regards to the appeal to the evangelicals then more opposition would be seen.
Take the thought experiment many have rightly used on this site and others. What if Obama invited David Duke to speak at his inaguration? Why couldn't he do that? One might say because Obama is black, but that is not the reason. The reason is that one of the biggest coalition members in the party is black and no one in the coalition has any interest in alienating one of the biggest blocs in the coalition because to do so would weaken every member of said coalition. This is also why you will not see a pro-life plank in the party platform even though the party has pro-life members and elected officials. You will not see such a pro-life position because pro-choice women are a huge coalition member and the coalition as a whole can not afford to alienate them and still further everyone's power.
This is the cold reality of political coaltion. The answer to such things as the Rick Warren debacle is not to recoil from the party. If you seek any political power to protect your interest recoiling from the one party open to you is suicide. The answer is to further entrench yourself in the coalition until you reach the point of no return. The point of no return in this sense is meant to mean the point where the coalition needs you as much as you need the coalition. You have to get organized and disciplined enough to make Democrats need you to win. Through fundraising and GOTV, you need to make Democrats see you as a vital member of the coalition. Think about it. What is appealing about evangelical voters for Obama and the coalition outside your particular interest? Evangelical voters donate money, time, and votes consistently and they do so consistently even when the candidate of the party is not their idelogical best match. What coalition seeking more power to enact the broad goals of its members wouldn't want some consistent money, support, and votes?
This does not mean you have to match the evangelicals vote for vote and dollar for dollar. The evangelicals come with costs the homosexual community do not. To court evangelicals is smart only to a certain extent. They are likely to socially against the coalition to stay in it for very long. They may rock the boat of the pro-choice block which the coalition will not abandon. The homosexual community, in fact, is a perfect fit for the party so long as they understand this is a coalition with more interests than simply their interest. That is not to say the equal rights of homosexuals is not a paramount issue. It is to say that for those of us who are not gay and can not know your pain, we can not say with any honesty that we feel your pain or that your interest trumps our interest. After all, we are members in the coalition too who are perfectly willing to work for your interest, but only so much as you are willing to work for our interest. This is how it works.
I will close with the Civil Rights movement example of recent past. The Democratic Party was historically the party of hate. There can be no doubt about that. Democrats were the party of Jim Crow and segregation. In the 40s and 50s Democrats from the North and West either agreed with their southern coalition members or did nothing to rock the boat on Jim Crow because the political coalition depended upon winning the south. This did not mean that men like John F. Kennedy or Adlai Stevenson were racists, but it did mean every Democrat knew they needed the south to win an election. It was not until Martin Luther King Jr. and the great leaders of the Civil Rights movement began to organize and build a movement that the Democrats in the North began to see hope. MLK and the african americans of their time voted for John Kennedy even though he was still a part of a coalition that included the southern segregationists. Why would they do that? Why would African Americans support a party and a candidate still in bed with and seeking support from the Jim Crow Democrats? Shouldn't they have said Civil Rights was non-negotiable and took to the streets? It was because they understood that men like John Kennedy had their own interests to protect and needed coalition partners that could further the collective interest as well as their own particular interest. Wouldn't you know it...by showing power of organization and being team players, the African American community entrenched themselves so well in the Democratic coalition that the other members broke completely with the Southern members of segregation. After all, the labor coalition members never cared for their union busting anyway and the growing feminist movement in the coalition did not like their backwards ways. After a lot of hardwork the African American community became a backbone of the new Democratic coalition.
And I believe with lots more work the homosexual community could become another bedrock in the coalition. I've worked hard for it. I think the homosexual community, like the African American community, could fit in the coalition like a glove. But to win over many skeptical in the coalition requires work. You have to be able to swallow your pride from time to time to be in a coalition. Do you think John Kerry was the first choice of many African Americans? Do you think the Labor movement was sold on Bill Clinton originally with his NAFTA support? Do you think I, as an atheist love watching every candidate talk about God? But where am I going to go? They do not serve all of my particular interests, but the Democratic Party does overall get us closer to my interests than any other political coalition I could join.
This is how the gay community should see it as well. Rick Warren is an opportunity wrapped in pain and heartache. You must organize. Get angry. Get disciplined. Find primary candidates that you can support and illustrate your organization and donation ability. Then when you show that watch how you are embraced by other coalition members that need your help and are willing to back you up to get your suppot. Gain political power so you have something to bargain with when it comes time to pick our party leaders. You'll find quickly that many politicians crowing about sanctity of marriage only do so because they feel they have to do it. As soon as they can count on your funds and money as consistently as they can count on the opposition from evangelicals then they'll be with you. But don't expect people just to understand your plight. Only you can represent your interst. Only you can represent it because only you have that interest and understand it.