I live in Illinois, and have many friends at Northern Illinois University. Thankfully, no one I know was hurt.
Unfortunately, everyone I know is afraid.
I was in high school when Columbine happened, and I watched the security cameras being put in. I was there for assembly after assembly on security procedures that weren't much different than the infamous "duck and cover" from the Cold War.
I was in high school when 9/11 hit, and everything stopped.
It was Halloween that year when anthrax broke out, and our childish pranks were verboten for being potential terrorism. That year I noticed fewer and fewer kids out getting candy.
Throughout college I saw tragedy after tragedy, and watched people becoming more and more afraid. So many smart, hopeful people have taken the bait and live in fear.
Well, I refuse.
After Columbine, I knew nothing bad would happen. I knew we were over-reacting. My friends and I were targeted for being outcasts, but I was not afraid.
After 9/11, I knew just how much we were blowing this all out of proportion. I knew that it didn't have to change everything, though it did. And despite the color coded bars on screen, I was not afraid.
After anthrax, Virginia tech, terrorist warning after terrorist warning, I was not afraid.
(Admittedly, Katrina scared me because of the systemic nature of the disaster, and the fact that it adamantly was not random)
I believe our president once said that if we become afraid, the terrorists win. The only terrorists I see are those making us fear, our government and news media.
But I'm not afraid.
After the attacks in Dekalb yesterday, my best friend told me she was going to homeschool her children through college because it's the only way to protect them. When I asked her why, she said "This hits close to home."
"I know, it does for me too. But look at the statistics. It is so unlikely that we or any of our kids will be shot by a random killer, despite what the news says. We can't let this run our life."
Reluctantly, she agreed.
We can't hide from everyone and everything and still be free. We can't live in fear and still be thinking people. And most of all, we can't let some crazed shooter make us afraid to live our life to its fullest.
I reject our current culture of fear. I reject our insane and ever increasing safety measures. I see no real danger, except from our neo-fascist government. And most of all..
I. AM. NOT. AFRAID.