How do I know this diary is dramatic? Easy. I put a period after every word in the title. I wanted to drive the drama home, so I latched on to this stylistic technique, one that I've learned from talented writers on this and other blogs.
Before I wrote this diary, I was concerned that I was leveraging an overused device, one that borders on cliche. I did my homework - I corresponded with publishing industry insiders and got an advance copy of the next edition of The Elements of Style. In that book, I found a new section on the effective use of periods. Here are the last few sentences in that section:
Placing a period after every word in a sentence, or sentence fragment, effectively suggests that the author believes the reader (or, in sophisticated cases, a hypothetical reader) is a bit slow. With this device, the author implies that he is speaking slowly, forcefully, and enunciating clearly so that the reader has time to comprehend. Make. Liberal. Use. Of. This. Technique. It. Works.
Frankly, I had been concerned that I'd be contributing to the demise of a potent literary tool if I integrated it into this, and future diaries. I wondered if this device will go the way of all-caps, WHICH IN THE OLD DAYS (WHEN THE INTERNET WAS NOT TO BE USED FOR COMMERCIAL PURPOSES) WAS INTERPRETED AS SHOUTING. I think not.
I encourage all writers to embrace this technique. It. Will. Get. Better. With. Time.
Disclaimer: This diary is snark, which my feeble mind believes is synonymous with sarcasm. I don't know any publishing-industry insiders. I made up the quote. I think putting a period after every word is overused. Honestly, I think the front-page writers on DailyKos are phenomenal, and this period-thing cheapens the writing. Please. Do. Not. Resort. To. Gimmicks.