10. It's Cold/Hot There. How can you have a fair election when it's 4° outside? Or 75°?
9. Caucuses And Primaries Are Poor Measures of Preference. Neither a caucus (like Hawaii) nor a primary (like Wisconsin) really tells you who voters favor. You need a system with both caucuses and primaries. Like Texas (Warning: This is a limited-time rationalization. This argument may no longer be valid on March 5).
8. Neither Wisconsin Nor Hawaii Are Really BIG States. You know. Like New York. And California.
7. "Delegate Counts" and "Popular Votes" Are Obsolete Microtrends. Unfortunately, we can no longer afford to pay Mark Penn to tell us what the small forces behind tomorrow's big changes will be.
6. Jesse Jackson, Though He Didn't Win Wisconsin or Hawaii, Polled Fairly Well in Both. In addition to the obvious significance of this fact, the fact that every single primary season someone won both these states suggests that Obama's victory is a form of plagiarism.
5. Wisconsin Lets Independents Vote. And only the votes of Democrats count. Especially in November.
4. There's Something Fundamentally Unfair About the Delegate Selection Rules in Both States. We'll tell you what it is as soon as we figure out the delegate selection rules in both states.
3. Kāne'ohe? La Crosse? Those don't sound very American to me! Let's face it. Wisconsin and Hawa'ii just aren't very typically American. You know...like New Hampshire, New York, and California.
2. Superdelegates can vote for anyone they want to. And, hey, so can "pledged" delegates!
And the #1 Reason that Wisconsin and Hawaii Don't Count...
VOTING IS JUST WORDS!