This is not a poll. We are not dealing with opinions here, but facts. Your mastery of the facts will determine your grade and your standing in the class. Remember, with modern computer technology, your grades will be available for the rest of your life to every educational institution to which you apply, to every employer from whom you seek even the meanest minimum wage job with scant or no bennies, to every law enforcement agency that takes an interest in you, and to every prospective sexual partner you approach for a bit of the old in-and-out.
So relax, have fun, and good luck! Pencils up!
This is an open book test. Use a #2 pencil. Do not write on your computer screen.
Warning: Do not use either end of pencil to clean ears or nose.
You will be graded by a Caterpillar® Model 140M. And... Begin!
Iraq
Thought experiment:
If an alliance of Arab States successfully invaded and occupied the USA, would they then have the right to disband the US Armed Forces and all federal, state, and local police departments and declare that no former members of the Republican Party were eligible to work in any branch of government or the US Armed Forces or any law enforcement body, federal, state, or local? And would they have the right to capture, try, and hang George W. Bush. Richard Cheney, et. al., even if their heads came off during the hanging?
Please answer yes or no.
Which form of live entertainment does the present government of Iraq most resemble?
a. Tragedy?
b. Farce?
c. Dinner Theater?
d. Vaudeville?
e. Burlesque?
f. All of the above?
How many innocent Iraqis, including women and children, do we have a right to kill, maim, and/or torture if we think a Bad Iraqi wants to prevent Our President from being re-elected? Please refer to the New Testament before answering.
a. one
b. between one and sixty thousand
c. between sixty thousand and a million
d. over a million
e. as many as it takes
Politics
What phrase best describes 25% of Americans today and Good German citizens during the Third Reich?
a. Enthusiastic about how things are going
b. Religious to a fault
c. More Patriotic Than Thou
d. Deaf to pleas for mercy
e. Blind to horrors all around them
f. Law abiding
When are Democratic Congresscritters most like their Republican colleagues?
When they
a. wear flag pins
b. let the Republicans apply steely resolve to their nether orifices
c. do what the president says
d. act tough
e. sing "Let The Eagle Fly!"
f. are blue and wag their tails
Which phrase or word best describes the current administration?
a. sucks
b. blows
c. sucks more than blows
d. blows more than sucks
e. blows and sucks equally, roughly speaking
f. murderous
Pencils down!