Now that it might actually be relevant to some folks, I'd like to start a diary on ways to campaign in Texas and what's it like down here. I've got a few suggestions below the fold. Feel free to add more advice.
I must say that, as a native Texan, I am THRILLED, by the possibility that the Democratic primary might still be undecided by the March 4 Texas primary. Quite frankly, it's been YEARS since any presidential candidate bothered to campaign here. True, they've done fly throughs for money, (I've seen Edwards, Obama and Paul, but not Hillary) but to actually campaign? That's been at least 28 years. People down here are not used to the kind of attention that Iowans expect during a primary. Hell, if they even SEE a candidate they'll probably vote for 'em.
BTW-to all you Kossacks who have openly advocated that the Dems abandon Texas (and you know you're out there), this should be Lesson One why Every State Counts. You should come on down and help out.
Now, lets have some fun.
Words of advice for campaigners from out of state:
- Those little green things on the nachos are NOT okra. The litte green things in the gumbo are.
- "Y'all" is the accepted english term for the second person plural. While it is techincally equivalent to "Yous guys" the former will be well received. The latter may not be. Also accepted for large crowds is "all y'all," and the possessive is "y'all's."
- Contrary to something Jimmy Carter said 28 years ago, Texas was not "purchased" from Mexico like Alaska, to become part of the Union. We were another country that freely joined.
- While there may be some controversy about what actually happened at the Alamo in 1835, and why the "Texians" overthrew Mexican rule, it's best to go with the conventional myths. Even if you know the truth, most Texans might not.
- Just accept that you'll be campaigning as an outsider. We don't mind. Just don't try to fake being "Texan." It doesn't take long to become a "native" here, just longer than the time you have available.
- There are at least five different divisions in the state, and each should be treated a little bit differently in campaign strategy. There's North, East, Central, West and the Valley. There's also the rural/urban divide, the East/West divide (centered on I-35). If you need help figuring all this out, you should hire a local. Or 12. Or 150. We'll be glad to take that campaign cash.
- There really aren't that many Republicans and Democrats in the state. True Texans can be more accurately divided into Libertarian and Populist groups.
- George Bush wasn't born here. Either of them.
- Eisenhower was. But nobody knows it.
- All energy sources here are good. My home county produces oil, natural gas, wind, solar and biomass.
- Except nuclear. So, a national energy policy that is balanced and aggressive will play well.
- There are 254 counties in the State. Most of them are bigger than Rhode Island.
- It's been so long since any presidential candidate actually campaigned in this state that if you just waive at some one, they'll probably vote for you. Or maybe just make eye contact. Hell, you could probably sneeze in their direction and they'll fall over for you.
- Please, god, don't try to speak Spanish if you're not fluent. I don't know how the latinos feel about it, but it makes this anglo boy cringe.
- To campaign volunteers, BE NICE TO THE LOCALS. Hold the door open for other people. Say "please" and "thank you." Make eye contact, it's expected, even when you just walk past someone on the street. And if you're in any town smaller than Houston, you are NOT anonymous, don't act like it. People will know which campaign you're with, they will remember you, and they will vote against your candidate if you're a jerk. Fair warning.
- I had to explain this one to my Yankee wife. The South (including Texas) did not "win" the Civil War. We learned our lessons. But we didn't win.
- Texas is not part of "The South."
- You MUST campaign in the Valley. It's wildly overlooked and parts of it are desperately in need. If you don't campaign there, you won't win the Texas primary.
- Building a fence between Texas and Mexico is a god-awful stupid idea. We've got a lot of border with Mexico and along and across most of that border communities developed, literally over centuries. Families live on both sides and did so because the border was easy to cross. Most people who've lived here for awhile just consider Mexico as a neighbor, not a country. Unlike California, most of us don't "fear" latinos. We work with them. Eat with them. Worship with them. Are friends with them. We are them. Most of the latinos you will meet and see are not immigrants. They were born here. Their great-great-grandparents were born here. Don't label them as immigrants. BTW-If you're looking for a photo-op to demonstrate what a dumb idea it really is to try and fence out Mexico, go straddle the Rio Grande as it leaves Santa Elena canyon in Big Bend. My two year old could jump across it at low water. That border will never be closed, it's just impractical, unfair, a waste and a damned shame to try and do it.
- Before you campaign in West Texas and talk about the oil industry, watch "Giant."
- Do not watch "Urban Cowboy."
- Campaign in at least one dance hall in each area of the state. I recommend "Eddie's Country Ballroom" in Pearland, "The Broken Spoke" in Austin, and god knows what elsewhere. Maybe somone will suggest something below.
- You must demostrate competence in unwrapping a tamale, eating crispy tacos, ribs, brisket and steak.
- Don't get on a horse if you can't ride. You will notice George W. has never been photographed anywhere near one.
- People may talk slow down here, but that's mostly so they don't make an ass of themselves. They're a lot smarter than you think they are. Let's see if y'all can't match 'em.
UPDATE Check this diary out Serious Texas Diary for a more serious look at the state.