OK, you pinko commie liberals. You know you’re just dying to know what’s really going on at the Conservative Political Action Conference this weekend. And that phony itinerary they post on their website is about as genuine as a George Bush campaign promise of "compassionate conservatism." So here, from the home office of the Club for Malignant Tumor Growth, is the real CPAC Agenda:
9:00 AM - Kippers with the Gippers: Breakfast and Welcoming Remarks by Ronald Reagan Impersonators
10:00 AM - Workshop: How to Make a Citizen’s Arrest of the Undocumented Workers Who’ve Just Finished Serving You Breakfast
11:15 AM - Grover Norquist on the Future of the GOP: How to Sell ‘Trickle Down Economics’ to Voters Who Don’t have a Pot to Piss In
12 Noon - Break for Lunch and Gun Show in the Charlton Heston Pry It From My Cold, Dead Fingers Ballroom
1:15 PM - Diebold Presents: Fun and Games With Electoral Machinery
3:00 PM - Reducing the Federal Deficit: Bill O’Reilly on Charging Tolls to Homeless Veterans Sleeping Under Bridges
3:30 PM - The Neo-Con Century: Bill Kristol Maps Out "The War Against Buddhists" After the Muslims are Brought to Heel
Continued at: http://satiricalpolitical.com/...