We need your help! A terrible, hungry moth has descended on California. Yes, the Apple Brown Moth (ABM) has everyone from Arnold on down running scared and the only solution is massive widespread spraying of over a wide area of California. ABMs are a danger to us all.
It doesn't matter that hundreds of people have already gotten sick. They are obviously weak, and should be culled from the population anyway. The most important thing is not to worry the people running government or any of the large agribusinesses that are just too cash-strapped themselves to fund any research and must rely on the government. Don't say anything. Sshhh!
And don't do anything to stop the spraying that is forced on us by our government. They should always be trusted no matter what and spend whatever money agribusiness wants them to. Really. It's only fair.
To do your part, just sit there. Don't contact any of the people making the decisions, some of which are listed in this pdf.
You will not be able to stay home, brother.
You will not be able to post stupid comments on dailykos.
You will not be able to lose yourself on tc and snark,
Skip out for beer during commercials,
Because the spraying will not be televised.
The spraying will not be televised.
The spraying will not be brought to you by Dupont
In 4 parts without toxic consequence.
The spraying will not show you pictures of Nixon
blowing a bugle and leading a charge by Dick
Cheney, General Petreaus and Karl Rove to eat
brown apple moths and nematodes.
The spraying will not be televised.
The spraying will not be brought to you by the
California Organic Growers and star Natilie
Woods and Steve McQueen or Bullwinkle and Julia.
The spraying will not give your wine sex appeal.
The spraying will not get rid of the bugs.
The spraying will not make you look five pounds
thinner, because the spraying will not be televised, Brother.
There will be no pictures of you and Willie May
pushing that shopping cart down the block chasing moths
or trying to spray entire cities with Checkmate.
NBC will not be able predict the winner at 8:32
or report from 29 districts.
The spraying will not be televised.
There will be no pictures of planes spraying down
brothers in the instant replay.
There will be no pictures of planes spraying down
brothers in the instant replay.
There will be no pictures of Whitney Young being
run out of Harlem on a rail with a brand new process.
There will be no slow motion or still life of Roy
Wilkens strolling through Watts in a Red, Black and
Green liberation jumpsuit that he had been saving
For just the proper occasion.
American Idol, Reality TV and Jerry
Falwell will no longer be so damned relevant, and
women will not care if Bill finally gets down with
Monica in the White House because everyone
will be in the street looking for a brighter day.
The spraying will not be televised.
There will be no highlights on the eleven o'clock
news and no pictures of Britney Spears, Animal
Liberationists and Paris Hilton blowing her nose.
The theme song will not be written by Jim Webb,
Francis Scott Key, nor sung by Glen Campbell, Tom
Jones, Johnny Cash, Englebert Humperdink, or Radiohead.
The spraying will not be televised.
The spraying will not be right back after a message
about a missing white women or a missing white women.
You will not have to worry about a dove in your
bedroom, a tiger in your tank, or the giant in your toilet bowl.
The spraying will not go better with Coke.
The spraying will not fight the germs that may cause bad breath.
The spraying will put you in the driver's seat.
The spraying will not be televised, will not be televised,
will not be televised, will not be televised.
The spraying will be no re-run brothers;
The spraying will be live.
The original of course is http://www.gilscottheron.com/...