We live in uncertain times. War, recession, inflation, and the upcoming elections, among other things, all weigh heavily upon us. Why don't we forget about those things for a while?
Let's go back to your childhood, when you went happily about your life, blissfully unaware of most of the things adults had to face.
Let's go back to a time when, besides gym class or the bully stealing your lunch money, your greatest fear was the scary movie shown on late night TV.
It had a creepy yet enticing name, such as"Nightmare Theatre" or "Creature Features."
It was either shown on a Friday or a Saturday, and, before television stations went to 24/7 schedules with all-night infomercials, was usually the last program of the day, sandwiched between the Ten O'Clock News and the National Anthem/test pattern.
It was most likely shown on an independent station, before Faux and Warner Bros. bought up most of them and determined that "Nightmare Theatre," or whatever, was beneath their standards.
It either had a host (or hostess) to introduce the film and make wisecracks about it before the commercial breaks, or it was simply played straight.
It normally featured old, B-grade (or lower) films that were in the public domain, but sometimes snuck in a newer one.
You probably had to sneak downstairs past your bedtime to watch it, taking care to set the volume low enough to avoid alerting Mom and Dad. There you sat, covered in a blanket and the glow of the TV set, your eyes as wide as saucers.
And it terrified you. It kept you from sleeping. It had you checking under the bed and in the closet for monsters. It made you afraid to get out of bed to use the bathroom, ultimately forcing you to decide that wetting the bed was preferable to being eaten by the Whatever It Was. It gave you wicked nightmares.
When you see those movies again, as an adult now burdened with the same worries that Mom and Dad had (and some they never even had to consider), you wonder what the fuss was all about.
The two movies that scared me the most as a child were movies that I never even saw at the time. The first was "The Abominable Dr. Phibes", with Vincent Price. Forget the movie. The TV spot was bad enough.
Man, that was good for a week's worth of nightmares. Whenever it came on, I hid behind the sofa and begged my parents to tell me when it was over. Of course, my dad always told me it was over when it wasn't. He paid for that at about 2 AM, when I tried to climb into bed with my folks, shaking with fear.
I saw that movie not long ago, and it was rather quaint, actually.
The other nightmare inducer was the cleverly titled "I Drink Your Blood/I Eat Your Skin," a double-feature that was a staple of American drive-in theaters during the early 1970's. Just the newspaper ad alone had my six-year old imagination working feverishly during the night. My folks finally had to hide the "Movies" section of the newspaper, until that two-faced monstrosity finally rolled out of town.
I never saw that double-feature. I figured it would cost me three hours of my precious life that I'd never see again.
It's your turn. Which movie(s) had you shaking with terror as a kid and chuckling with mirth as an adult?