NOTE: This review is rated "R" for liberal ideation, full-frontal hope-mongering and cannibalism. Keep little Julie and Johnny Kossack off this post! Spoilers inside.
The original of this movie was called "The Omega Man." It starred Charlton Heston, and it is better. Here's the imdb website for that 1971 movie. If you liked "I Am Legend," you should rent "The Omega Man." Plus, for the conservative lurkers on this board, you can rent the older movie, get drunk, shoot your guns at the neighbor's trailer and watch Charlton Heston -- while making fun of zombies and hippies. Yee haw!
(pictured: Rosalind Cash, Charlton Heston -- "The Zombies Are Here!")
(pictured: Will Smith; not pictured: leash)
In the year 2009, a virus turns 5.8 billion people into super zombies. The remaining population has become zombie food. The KV virus apparently has the exact same side effects as long-term steroid abuse. You get buff, your athletic performance shoots through the roof, you have hot sex with other buff people and your response to everything is incoherent, drooling rage. Are these zombies or baseball players? Was this snarky commentary on steroid abuse or was the director just documenting the natural evolution of zombies?
My big "plot hole" question is this: Were there no leash laws in New York in 2012? Or, was it just a lack of enforcement? Dude, seriously, unless you want your dog to run around and sniff out every freaking thing -- even things in dark rooms -- put a leash on her. The Will Smith character, a learned man of science, inexplicably lets his dog run loose through New York streets, even though zombies are hidden in dark rooms. Didn't they have a class in grad school about how dogs run off to sniff things?
Will Smith does a great job in the starring role. The problem with the movie is the CGI. A lot of it was fantastic, but a few shots were glaringly weak. Maybe I'm old-school, but I don't think a CGI effect, or a cartoon, can provide a real scare. I watched 2 of the cartoon extras -- ho hum -- but the third one disgusted me enough to turn it off. Flesh-eating, KV-infected Hungarian hotties are, it turns out, not my cup of tea.
Finally, I am getting unnerved by the rapid evolution of movie zombies. It seems that only 40 years ago they barely managed to stumble about. Back then, Zombies could manage one word, "Brainssss," and they were pretty much stumped by a deadbolt. Now, they climb walls, strategize, and jump 35 feet at a time. If real zombies are evolving at the rate of movie zombies, we are in for a hurtlocker. At this pace, the undead will soon outstrip us and become the dominant species on the planet. Mark my words.
VOTE OBAMA -- He won't let the zombies get us!
UPDATE (breaking on the zombie news front): Dkos poster Wrights has corrected the diary, noting that the original, original version was called "The Last Man on Earth," and it starred Vincent Price. Look below for Wrights' comment and link. Additionally, banjolele provides this priceless joke: "What do vegetarian zombies eat? Graiiiins."
UPDATE 2 (more breaking news on the zombie news front): I just wrote this bad joke. Here goes. What did the zombie say after it broke open the Republican's skull and found nothing inside? McCaiiiins?