This started out as a comment, but it became so long I felt it deserved it's own diary.
As far as the (lately very common) "racist" tag being applied so ubiquitously: we need to let that go, in my opinion. Pointing it out, in any venue where it might possibly, maybe apply...isn't really helping.
Just as a little background, I'm a black man. I live in a predominately white area, and I am one of a handful of AA's in my office. My social circle is almost completely white.
It has been my experience that casual racism infuriates whites far, far more than it does blacks. I'm not talking about "burn the cross" level, of course everyone rallies against that. I mean the tiny things. Going to a party being asked ask if you'd prefer rap to what's playinh. Being the one who everyone asks what Al Sharpton is up to. I shrug them off, I sigh and shake my head. It's not the end of the world for someone to believe something bizarre.
More likely than not my friends, predominately Caucasian, will want to make a federal case out of even a mild slight. That's when it can get ugly. the quote-unquote racist is angry and embarrassed, my friends are angry at them for the "affront", they are upset with me for not being angry, and I am TOTALLY embarrassed. Mortified, to put it mildly.
I have found that in any racially-tinged confrontation, there is usually much doubt as to whether is IS racial, and in any case the path to resolution is no smoother if "teh race card" is played. If I've been passed over several times for a restaurant table, I will complain...about the service. I have good money to spend, and the average manager is much more concerned about green than brown.
Sitting at a bar with some friends, a very drunk stranger walks up to me and sticks his hand out. I shake it. He slurs "you gusyh are cool wish me". I respond by saying "awesome, so you're going to buy us all a round?" (this confused him long enough for one of his soberer friends to collect him). It was a good laugh and almost a free round. Imagine me saying "WHAT SORT OF RACIST BULLSHIT IS THIS??". Ugh.
Everyone is a little bit racist. I know I am, I have avoided bars where every truck outside was a pickup (as opposed to a car or SUV). We joke about the "pickup ratio" in bar X, but on some level that's pretty damn racist. If we hired a new researcher with a string of degrees, I'd probably go "really??" if you told me he was black. If you told me he was Asian, not so much surprise. That's certainly racist.
We all carry preconceptions, and race is just one basis on which to prejudge. If I'm told a church-going dude is coming to the weekly poker game, I'm wondering "is he going to be fun?". Why wouldn't he be? Why do I expect a short guy to have a chip on his shoulder? Why am I surprised if a hot blonde has read Ayn Rand? And so on.
I think we all carry some level of "ist"s or "ism"s, and while the best of us try to work through them, that's a process rather than a destination. None of us would appreciate having an embarrassing flaw thrust in our face, especially if our accuser needs our cooperation. Imagine the following scenario:
<phone rings>
You: Hello?
Caller: Hi, we're asking for donations to your Alma Mater. Can you make a small contribution?
You: I'm not really sure
Caller: I see the problem here. You're too poor to donate, aren't you?
You: What!? I'm far from poor
Caller: If you weren't poor you'd donate. So again, will you donate?
You can imagine how effective such a campaign would be. Substitute "vote" for "donate" and "racist" for "poor". Equally effective.
Going forward in this campaign, I hope we can be aware of the very real racial minefields that exist, without explicitly making enemies of the very people whose votes we need. An ounce of wry humor is worth a pound of condemnation.
And who knows? We might get a free round out of the deal.