..in the '08 Presidential election were chosen by a panel of politically minded neurons inside of Mr. West85's brain. After careful sorting, they are then tabulated by a select group of top accounting minded neurons located in a completely different section of Mr. West85's brain, with each process being protected by the most protective, some might say paranoid, minded neurons, which are positioned en masse throughout the cramped, dark and horribly tasting confines of Mr. West85's cranial cavity.
The criteria for the VP selections were the following..
1) The VP must be a good fit with the candidate personally. As in, Sen. McCain and the Mittster? Uh, no. Sgt. Obama's Lonely Clinton Heart Club Band? Not unless it happens, I guess.
2) The VP must do something big that the candidate does not.
3) The VP must have a 'wow' factor.
The envelopes please...
For Sen. Obama's running mate, the winner is...
...Sen. Jim Webb of Virginia!! Sen. Webb fits beautifully with Sen. Obama, he is a man of the world, an intellectual, someone who campaigned on change and who has cut a wide swath early in his political career. This ticket would certainly pair the two Democrats who have pulled off the biggest upset wins in recent political memory. Jim Webb beat mighty George 'Macaca' Allen (Go 'Skins!) in '06, and Sen. Obama defeated* Sen. Clinton in '08. The Webb choice simply bolsters every facet of Sen. Obama's oeuvre. He's new. He's brilliant. He is a warrior. He gives good speech and has alot of experience without that experience being "in Washington". On top of all that, short of my cousin Arnold, there is no Republican duo that would want to tussle physically with the youthful Sen. Obama and the, to put it mildly, focused Sen. Webb. I believe these positives of a Webb nomination well outweigh the negatives, or should I say, negative, that being abdicating a hard fought Senate seat in a Purple state. The very same Purple state that Obama absolutely needs to win in his Electoral map, coincidentally. An Obama Webb coupling would be the biggest and best an Obama ticket could be. It should also be noted, Mr. West85's brain has a considerable audible buzz emanating from it when thinking of these matters, and is a delightful sky-blue shade when viewed through an x-ray lens..cool
For Sen. McCain's running mate, the winner is...
...former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush!! Simply put, this ticket is flat scary. Given the fact that McCain is practically embracing everything Dubya, short of, of course, the constitutional liberties the Bush Administration is so fond of, a pairing with ol' Jebediah has practically no downside. For one thing, no other VP can erase the horrific stain of Katrina like Jeb Bush, who by all accounts lead Florida brilliantly through the horror of a trio of hurricanes in the summer of '04. Furthermore, you guessed it, Jeb as VP not only appeases, but inflames the far right, who will be salivating about Jeb's prospects in '12. Jeb Bush is young, was an incredibly popular Gov., and the mere mention of his name brings the ol' Coalition to the brink of, I dunno, rapture?
* Umm, some may say this is inappropriate, but I heartily disagree. The Democratic race has not been decided, certainly not numerically, and as such, I would like to select a potential VP for Sen. Clinton. Sen. Clinton, whom I sometimes refer to as 'my girl', has had some lovely suiters through the course of this process. I mean, yes, Gov Rendell! However, a supporter of Sen. Clinton such as myself, when viewing this eminently fluid process as it exists currently, might be so glib as to suggest that no VP short of Denzel himself could possibly work. Still, I saw quite a team emerge with the pairing of Sen. Clinton and Sen. Bayh. They look very comfortable on stage together. Frankly, Bayh was so impressive in the last month, that I might view him as the #2 choice for Obama as well. Doesn't quite have the pit bull in him like Webb, but probably is more easily likable. Besides, Sen. Clinton doesn't really suffer for a lack of intensity. Bayh is comfortable in his own skin, has an ethical and effective record, and is a darn fine looking fellow to boot.
Obama - Webb / McCain - Bush / Clinton - Bayh
Congratulations to the winners, and God Bless America!!
**Bonus wine pairing! I enjoy brains with a lightly chilled botrytis affected wine such as a Sauternes, or perhaps a TBA from the Mosel river valley in Germany. The sweetness is in total harmony with the earthy flavors of brain, while the richness and mouthfeel of these late harvest wines pair beautifully with the stringy yet silky organs. It's always fun to mix savory and sweet, and this pairing is a natural. Also, for those of you, like myself, who like to eat while viewing MSNBC, an added benefit. Studies show that eating brain while watching the pompous hacks who masquerade as newsmen on that network may replace up to 47% of the candlepower lost during, say, a typical viewing of "Hardball"... enjoy!