Inmate #1: What're you in for?
Inmate #2: Nothing, yet. I want to run for public office.
Inmate #1: Republican?
Inmate #2: Um, er, yeah.
Inmate #1: Hand me down my walking McCane, bitch.
Apologies, as always, for stereotypes. Just my little fantasy...
A proposal: All those wishing to run for state or national office must serve a mandatory one year sentence before being allowed to campaign. Once incarcerated, prisoners are subject to all rules and regulations. Early release for good behavior is theoretically possible, as is an extended stay for violations. Time to be served in a state penitentiary in general population. No county lockups. No appeals. No exceptions.
Near the end of the sentence, inmate will go before a Board Of Opportunity (BOO) to be scrutinized for Worthiness To be Free (WTF) which may result in release or rendition. If then elected, the inmate will be on probation during his or her term of office, and subjected to screening by the Citizens' United Review Board, (CURB) the sole arbiter of further punishment. CURB may, at its discretion, release the probationer and expunge his/her record, though this is unlikely. If unelected, inmate will be placed in the national Database of Unelected Persons Entering Society (DUPES) and must register their addresses in perpetuity, with mandatory notification of neighbors, etc.
I would hope for two possible results for this proposal. It will cut down on those seeking election for the usual reasons - power, money, sex - and act as a powerful source of persuasion toward sensible laws and sentencing guidelines IF - and admittedly it's a big if, the inmates learn something during their incarceration. If not, they can always be kicked to the CURB afterward.
Again, my apologies for this lame, dumb, downright stupid, possible-troll, OT diary. I realize that insanity and ignorance is no excuse. I enter my nolo contendere plea.