I'm writing today because I'm increasingly concerned that no one is paying attention to the biggest resource depletion crisis looming on the horizon. No, I'm not talking about peak oil, or peak metal, or peak civil liberties.
No, this is much more dangerous. There is a resource that is vital to us, imported form the Middle East, and we're going through it like we're never going to run out.
Well, we are running out, and I for one am not going to let it slip under the radar. Its time we prepared, as a movement and as a nation, for the real threat to global civilization:
I'm talking, of course, about Peak Jesus.
While we're all familiar with the chaos that Jesus shortages caused in the late 60s and 70s, our nations conversion from traditional Jesus sources to the new-media enhanced (hot) gas-powered Jesus had many people thinking we were good to go for at least another 1000 years. Sadly, recent massive increases in wholesale-style Jesus consumption have left traditional wells running dry, and promises from JPEC* to increase supply have failed to materialize in any viable new Jesus.
While some insist that we should switch to renewable replacements for Jesus, entrenched Jesus corporations have enough lobbyist cloutin Washington to keep America from really embracing these technologies.
Some among you undoubtedly believe that we should invest in an entirely new infrastructure outside of the traditional Jesusconomy, but we simply can't build the required distribution network overnight, if at all, considering the slowing economy.
No, friends, I'm afraid we're going to have to face up to it. Our Jesus is running out, and if we want to have Jesus for our children, and our children's children, its time we start a radical initiative that includes needs-based Jesus rationing and a crash Apollo-style research program into new replacements for Jesus.
Peak Jesus is on us, its up to you to let everyone you know know.
*
Jesus Producing and Exporting Companies