$52 million my sound like a lot of money to the uneducated layman. To experienced analysts here at the Washington Post, such as myself, however, the number is just one of many numbers, such as a billion or a trillion. Seen in that context, the June fundraising figures trumpeted by the Obama campaign aren't so impressive. In fact, they are pretty ordinary. Bear with me while I do the math.
$52 million, to begin with, is about twice what the McCain campaign raised in the same month. That is, the multiplier (or the multiplicand, or whatever), is two. Two is not a very significant number at all. If you think about it, two is about how old you were when you were in nursery school. How much did you know then? Not much.
By this much more reasonable analysis, we can see that the money race between Obama and McCain is almost a dead heat. Isn't that exciting? Yes, it is. It is very very exciting. It means that McCain could win. Do you realize the implications of that?
After all--Justice Stevens is 88 years old.
This means that Democrats could lose everything. Everything they hold dear. Roe v. Wade will be overturned. We will invade Iran. Or could. Some say we could, unless Obama can pull himself out of this slump and get the $100 million some said he was supposed to get this month, and didn't.
Another important perspective to view this $52 million from is what economic mathematicians call "the big picture." Over the lifetime of the human race, which may well extend for several hundred million years, some estimate a total aggregate intra-racial wealth transfer of many hundreds of trillions of trillions of dollars. If you stacked up all of this money it would reach to the outer rim of the Andromeda Galaxy (M34). Seen in this somewhat broader perspective, Obama's much-trumpeted $52 million isn't worth two cents. Actually, it's worth about $.00000000000000000000002 cents.
Some say this puts McCain in striking distance of completely overwhelming Obama, fiscally speaking. Isn't that exciting? When things get so close that you're talking about a difference of $.000000000000000000002 cents, it certainly is exciting. Very very exciting. Very very very very very very very very very very very exciting.
We here at the Washington Post think it is so exciting we can barely keep from screaming. We think this election is more exciting than the last game of the playoffs with the score tied at the bottom of the ninth. We think it's more exciting than a kid in a shark tank with a handsome diver trying to rescue the kid and the kid's beautiful mother weeping with terror.
$.0000000000000000002 cents.
Think of it.
More tomorrow. And the next day.