I wish I was like Ted Stevens. I really do.
Ted Stevens had hundreds of thousands of dollars of work done on his house, and he didn't pay for it. To be guilty of not disclosing gifts, all he'd have to do would be to not know that they had been doing it for free.
But he's innocent, is say, innocent! He's a victim!
“I am innocent of these charges and intend to prove that,” Mr. Stevens said several hours after the indictment was announced.
Poor thing. People just show up at his house and build decks and give him grills and all. I wish that would happen to me.
I mean, just think about it. My car's brakes were rattling. I hadn't driven in two months, but it seemed something I should get checked out.
Now, as a taxpaying citizen, I asked around, found a shop, and went down there in the morning and dropped off my car. The front brakes were at 5%, it seemed they'd cracked whilst parked for a while. I also needed a new serpentine belt and got the oil changed for good measure. It worked out, the bus system was great both ways (I usually bike to work anyway but didn't want to try to disassemble my bike in the car) and the only pain was the $600 I put on my card in the afternoon.
But imagine if I was Ted Stevens. I wouldn't have even had to know about the problems with my car. I certainly wouldn't have had to come in to the shop in the morning. Nope, some guys would magically show up at my house, fix my car, not bill me (Woohoo! $600 in my pocket) and then I wouldn't have a worry in the world.
And because of disclosure, I wouldn't even have to know did the work, or how it was done. It would just get done. If I were in elected office, I could plead ignorance, even if, say, I had gotten the mechanic a zoning variance and, say, a contract to repair the local municipality's fleet.
Goddamn, life would be great. It's just too bad I'm not Ted Stevens. So $616 is out for me. Maybe no donation to Obama this month, but if your car is working (or better yet, if you get about without one) give him some dough for me!