Thursday, July 31, 2008
Dear Diary,
Sorry I didn’t have time to write yesterday. Trying to pee. But I’ve been having much more fun lately Diary. Since I brought Rove’s boys on board, Schmidt and – you know. And what’s his name. Anyway since then my campaign’s been rockin’. First we crucificated Mr. Uppity for turning a cold shoulder to our wounded boys over in Germany. And that was pretty funny because you remember Jim Webb’s new Vets bill that’s going to provide medical and education benefits for our boys and girls in uniform, and how I voted against it? Well I really did spurn the troops, and we’re assaulting the big O for spurning our troops. Genius. I’m beginning to see how Rove got that brain-dead asshole of a president of ours elected twice.
But that’s not all. We put up this ad showing Osama with two hot blondes -- Britain and France? Something like that. Funny names these blondes have now. They should stick to easy to remember ones like Vikki and Harlot. I mean Cindy. Anyway the ad fakes like we’re criticizing Osama for being too famous, which is so stupid even I know it’s stupid, when really we’re just showing him with two hot blondes. It’s like that boy in Tennessee who was running for the House, Harold – Buick? Chrysler? Something like that. Anyway we Repubs torpedoed his whole campaign with a hot blonde. And now we’re doing the same thing to Osama.
And that’s still not all. Because then we accused HIM of playing the race card! The master stroke. Those Rove boys are good good good. Laughed so hard I teared up. Laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. Almost, Diary. Gonna keep trying though.