I take issue with some of the relationship expert's ideas she quoted.
I like Maureen Dowd because she tends to equally skewer everyone. But this latest article posted by her in the NYT made me cringe a bit
http://www.nytimes.com/...
She quotes Father Pat O'Connor, a relationship expert who dispenses advice to people looking for their soulmates
These 2 quotes particularly made me cringe.
"Never marry a man who has no friends," he starts. "This usually means that he will be incapable of the intimacy that marriage demands. I am always amazed at the number of men I have counseled who have no friends. Since, as the Hebrew Scriptures say, ‘Iron shapes iron and friend shapes friend,’ what are his friends like? What do your friends and family members think of him? Sometimes, your friends can’t render an impartial judgment because they are envious that you are beating them in the race to the altar. Envy beclouds judgment.
Ok well my parents are diplomats and I have moved to God knows how many countries because of their assignments. As a result I have friends but not many because I have never had a chance to really establish root anyplace. I have lived in Chicago the longest but not enough to establish friends and my work keeps me busy enough. All my friends are in different states or continents, so it has pretty hard to have a serious friends circle. I just don't agree with him that person with no friends is just someone everyone needs to avoid, especially when seeking a relationship. It's one thing if this person sits in their basement all day playing video games and doing nothing but to draw judgment that this person is to be avoided is definitely bad advice.
another one:
I remember counseling a pious Catholic woman that it might not be prudent to marry a pious Muslim, whose attitude about women was very different. Love trumped prudence; the annulment process was instigated by her six months later.
Ok maybe his intention isnt prejudiced towards Muslims, but does any religion really have anything to do with the way a man thinks about women and women's rights? How is that any different than conservative Christians or Jews who think a woman's place is at home? But even then religious conservatives who live in big cities have a far different view on women's role in society compared to their ideological kins in the suburbs or small towns. Should the O'Connor say that you really need to give this conservative person a chance to express himself or herself before you judge him/her?
I dont know. I find this article of hers but disturbing if only because this pastor has no clue as to what he is talking about. Maybe he needs to get into a relationship before he counsels others.
Any thoughts would be appreciated