Filed under "Oh for the love of G-d," the Wall Street Journal reports:
In a nation in which 66% of the voting-age population is overweight and 32% is obese, could Sen. Obama's skinniness be a liability? Despite his visits to waffle houses, ice-cream parlors and greasy-spoon diners around the country, his slim physique just might have some Americans wondering whether he is truly like them.
On first look, you’d think the Wall Street Journal was kidding, but the author goes on to attempt a serious argument:
The candidate has been criticized by opponents for appearing elitist or out of touch with average Americans. A Wall Street Journal/NBC News poll conducted in July shows Sen. Obama still lags behind Republican John McCain among white men and suburban women who say they can't relate to his background or perceived values.
"He's too new ... and he needs to put some meat on his bones," says Diana Koenig, 42, a housewife in Corpus Christi, Texas, who says she voted for Sen. Hillary Clinton in the Democratic primary.
And then the author throws in Howard Taft and Bill Clinton (coronary surgery notwithstanding) for good measure.
Putting aside the fact that Obama’s fitness could have a positive, role model effect on some Americans, the media is establishing a curious list of qualifications for our next president. According to the growing narrative, the next president must:
- Not think before he speaks
- Never use more than two-syllable words
- Always underachieve
- Hate academics
- Drink cheap American beer
- Bowl well
- Be hated overseas
- Take lots of vacations
- Look like "us"
And, critical to our nation's security,
- Be fat!
To summarize:
Dr. Scheiner didn't disclose his patient's exact weight, but medical observers estimate that the 6-foot-1.5-inch-tall senator appears to weigh at least 10 pounds less than the roughly 190 pounds that the average American man of his height weighs. The Obama campaign declined to comment for this article.
So our candidate has four months to fatten the f___ up or we’re f____d! And whose genius idea was it to get him off the cigarettes?! Smoke up, Senator!
Updated with Correction: Obama has only three months to fatten up! OMGWTFBBQ!