When John Edwards withdrew from the presidential contest at the end of January, many people wrote or spoke to me - wondering how I felt about it. Some did so to gloat, but most were curious and/or sympathetic.
With a long alleged extramarital affair, now confirmed, much in the "news", some of these folks will probably have the same question for me, so I thought I'd share my reaction.
I'm very disappointed in John Edwards.
You may find that statement puzzling. I do need to put it into context.
From the time just prior to my teen years onward when my personal conduct was less than stellar, a quiet, private discussion (always in my room) with my father would occur. He would be remarkably calm, have a sad expression on his face and - after a moment or two of silence - look at me and say "I'm very disappointed in you, Don". He would proceed to explain what disappointed him, and he would express puzzlement at this transgression in light of the of the many, many times he had been so proud of me. At the end of what was generally a pretty brief conversation, he would outline what was needed to make amends.
Throughout this, my heart would sink. But my parents always taught me to recognize that people are not what they do. Since everyone makes mistakes, what was important was to do what ever was possible to make things right afterword. In addition to giving me the assurance of their continuing love, they were also teaching me not to judge others as people - while criticizing actions was completely appropriate.
(By the way, there weren't many of these episodes - I wouldn't have been able to stand it!)
On to my disappointment.
Cheating on one's spouse is a betrayal of trust. For me, a betrayal of trust is a significant offense. Beyond that, I am somewhat bothered by the denials, and a bit more bothered Edwards' attempts to minimize the effects of his transgression when he finally acknowledged it.
Think of his statement about his Iraq War vote. "I was wrong. I take complete responsibility for it."
That would have been the proper model.
So it seems perfectly reasonable for people to be very disappointed in John Edwards. But only Elizabeth can be the one to outline what was or is needed to make amends. Everyone needs to understand and accept that.
On the other hand, the "Coliseum" media is doing what it always has done to John Edwards. "SEE! SEE!, I told you he was a phony. Nyah, Nyah!"
It is a sad truth that my hero growing up, Dr. Marin Luther King, Jr., was also unfaithful to his wife, Coretta. My understanding that that was an ongoing situation - further complicated by J. Edgar Hoover's awareness of it. I find myself wondering whether Dr. King was compromised in any way because of it. Mr. Hoover was not a nice guy.
I think few people discount Dr. King's accomplishments or revile him as person because he was less than perfect.
While I have always found John Edwards an interesting and intriguing person, my support for his candidacy had much more to due with his aggressive, progressive policy proposals and the fire with which they were offered. If the "Half In Ten" program succeeds (cutting poverty in half in ten years) John Edwards will figure significantly in our history.