As covered recently in the New York Times, and detailed magnificently by Kossack organicdemocrat in this Recommended diary on Saturday, presumptive Republican nominee for President John McCain has had his cell phone privileges severely curtailed.
To recap or for those that missed it:
Senator John McCain is so quick to pick up his gold-colored cell phone to solicit advice — from senators, campaign consultants, even the stray former deputy press secretary — that aides, concerned about his tendency to adopt the last opinion he has heard, have tried to cut back on the time he has to make calls... Mr. Schmidt has sought to cut down on Mr. McCain’s use of his cell phone and limit the people who have regular access to Mr. McCain in an effort to keep him more focused, advisers said.
Now.... there is a new and exciting development in this story.
T-Mobile, which just recently unveiled its "Family Allowances" parental control program, has now announced their latest offering:
"M A V E R I C K A L L O W A N C E S"
T-Mobile was happy to respond via e-mail to our request for a comment on this groundbreaking new campaign tool:
"You can see in the graphic below how easy the program works! Of course, the system was designed for parents, but it can easily be reconfigured to send the 'over your allowance' shut-off message to a campaign manager, or even a hotter, more upwardly and actually mobile, second wife. It's totally up to Steve Schmidt. That's what the McCain people have asked us to do for them, and we're happy to do it!" T-Mobile Spokesperson
In fact, just how easy it was to "Maverick-ize" the technology becomes clear in this leaked internal draft of the planned press release that we were able to obtain through an inside source, and which shows some real Straight Talk changes to the original marketing materials.
However, the leaked memo also makes clear that contrary to T-Mobile's statement above, the telecommunications giant, perhaps sensing a real chance to make a difference in this election, pursued the campaign, and not the other way around.
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TO: McCain Campaign Headquarters
FROM: T-Mobile Corporate Headquarters
Parents across the country Presidential campaigns want their teens candidate to have a mobile phone to stay in contact speak for his campaign when allowed to, but also want that phone to be used responsibly.
With that in mind, we are proud to announce our latest offering: "Maverick Allowances".
With Maverick Allowances, parents campaign managers and senior strategists get peace of mind knowing they can reach their sons and daughters candidate, without having to worry about surprise bills talking points.
They can also reward their teens Maverick for responsible phone usage good behavior-- such as staying on message for the entire day, or not entering his wife in a Harley-tastic skankathon-- by increasing their his allowance.
ParentsThe campaign senior staff can change limits anytime they like, and can also set up "Always Allowed" numbers such as President Bush, Karl Rove, the pharmacy, etc., that will continue to be reachable even if a child or teen Maverick exceeds their allowance. And, you can block unwanted callers with "Never Allowed" numbers, which, in keeping with the campaign's new strategy could include the entire press corps, for example.
With Maverick Allowances, you can even set the device so it won’t ring while they’re in class just as your candidate is finally attending a vote in the Senate. And we've just totally disabled texting, because, well, who are we kidding, and that saves you a bundle right there!
Of course, no technology can stop your candidate from automatically parroting the last viewpoint received, like some sort of insane Manchurian Candidate hearing his trigger word, but with Maverick Allowances, you can at least get him off the phone faster!
We also firmly believe that this may help Senator McCain connect with the all-important 'youth demographic,' because who else is so likely to be recently familiar with (and therefore sympathetic to) the pain and frustration of "being on restriction." Maybe he could even blog about "how wack it is that they're cock-blocking my cellie, bruh!"
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The heavily redacted memo also reveals several persuasion strategy suggestions that were clearly still works in progress in this version of the draft.
UPDATE: Title changed from "Breaking" to "Shocking," to 'make allowances' for those who took issue with it.