My friends...
Some convention speeches play it safe with faint praise, and others really slather it on. Buckle those Kos-belts, my friends. It's going to be a fun ride through convention history.
It's always good to look back at a blast from the past, John McCain's 2000 convention speech. As speeches go, this is a particularly vapid one. It doesn't say much, but I do really enjoy the last line for its unintentional prophecy. Spoofing de Toqueville--a Frenchman, no less!--Prisoner of War McCain says, with a creepy smile:
I have such faith in you, my fellow Americans. And I am haunted by the vision of what will be.
Funny thing, we've been haunted too!
Did Michael Gerson write this crap? More after the jump.
This is a pretty lazy diary, but it's important to look back and remember those ten months between the South Carolina GOP primary and November, when The Maverick cut himself down to size. In a sort of reverse-operation of the Grinch, they say his balls shrunk three sizes those months.
Anyway, here are some lines for viral videographers everywhere to capture. I'm still in PC-land and not very adept at editing and such. Are you listening MoveOn.org? How about you buy some ad time for a week from Thursday and play clips of his 2000 speech before and after his 2008 acceptance?
In no particular order, and sometimes taken out of context (but never altered or ellipsesed):
I have been an imperfect servant of my country for over 40 years, and my many mistakes rightly humble me.
We agree. Cheating, keating, and everything but wifebeating.
I will not see what is over America's horizon. The years that remain are not too few I trust, but the immortality that was the aspiration of my youth, has, like all the treasures of youth, quietly slipped away.
You mean, you're going to die soon? What? Just 8 years later, you're fit as a fiddle, and your memory is sharp as a tack!
Oh, this just BEGS to be set to a millennial video montage:
George W. Bush believes in the greatness of America and the justice of our cause. He believes in the America of the immigrant's dream, the high lantern of freedom and hope to the world.
Guantanamo footage
He is proud of America's stature as the world's only superpower, and he accepts the responsibilities along with the blessings that come with that hard-earned distinction. He knows well that there is no safe alternative to American leadership. And he will not squander this unique moment in history by allowing America to retreat behind empty threats, false promises, and uncertain diplomacy.
Shock and awe, Russian tanks rolling into Georgia
He will confidently defend our interests and values wherever they are threatened. I say to all Americans, Republican, Democrat or Independent, if you believe America deserves leaders with a purpose more ennobling than expediency and opportunism, then vote for Governor Bush.
Cue golfing, shooting the breeze at Crawford
If you believe patriotism is more than a sound bite and public service should be more than a photo-op then vote for Governor Bush.
My friend, Governor Bush, believes in an America that is so much more than the sum of its divided parts. He wants to give you back a government that serves all the people no matter the circumstances of their birth. And he wants to lead a Republican Party that is as big as the country we serve.
He wants nothing to divide us into separate nations. Not our color. Not our race. Not our wealth. Not our religion. Not our politics. He wants us to live for America, as one nation, and together profess the American Creed of self-evident truths.
I support him. I am grateful to him. And I am proud of him. He is a good man from a good family that has, in good times and bad, dedicated themselves to America
The hug.
Tomorrow, we will formally nominate Governor Bush. We do so not for our sake alone. We do not seek his election merely to acquire an advantage over our political opponents or offices for our party faithful. We have a grander purpose than that.
Cut to John McCain, grinning like an idiot on the oil rig.
Senator McCain, to you I have one thing to say:
If you are elected, I too will be haunted by the vision of what will be.