I know that there are tons of diaries tonight about how this speech affected everyone but I wanted to pour my heart out before this moment passes.
Growing up, I was always a shy girl. I had few friends and I would quake at meeting new people and speaking in public. I was always self-conscious about myself. I had horrible self esteem. I always doubted myself, my ideas, and quivered at the thought of what other people saw in me
My personal story below the fold
It wasn't until high school when all that changed. Like all teenagers I began to question who I was as a person, what I stood for, and where my life would lead. Along the way I came out to my friends and family. It was my sexuality that first brought me to the political process but it wasn't what would inspire me the most.
I remember in high school turning on the television to Oprah one day after school and seeing a young confident African American. He spoke with such passion about America, and his vision for the country. I remember thinking this man should run for president.
After that fatal day, I remember turning in to when Obama announced his candidacy for presidency. How I literally jumped with excitement at my grandma's house. How I was filled with a renewed sense of interest in the political process.
I remember tuning in to CNN's coverage on Iowa, watching Wolf Blitzer claim the status best political team in coverage, and me not caring because Barack Hussein Obama won against the inevitable Hillary Clinton in an almost all white state.
Downhearted but not out, I recall Barack losing in New Hampshire when I though he had it in the bag.
I recall the warmth I felt when I casted my first vote ever for uncommitted because Barack Obama wasn't on the ballot in Michigan.
I remember how I cheered on Barack as he won 10 states in a row, and the media FINALLY recognized that Barack was a serious contender.
I remember writing my first diary at Dailykos, my first episode of Countdown, and when I first listened to the Thom Hartmann program and the Rachel Maddow Show.
Anger was what I felt when Hillary didn't withdraw right away, happiness in when she finally did.
Resentment when the PUMAs didn't back Obama right away.
Anger at the media for doubting Barack, and stirring the flames of controversies that didn't exist. (And again, and again, and again..)
There has been so many emotions that I have felt over the past months. It really was a roller coaster ride.
But what I feel now more then ever is HOPE. I guess it was always there but I have let it get damage, tarnished, and ratted over the course of these last few months. I guess that is the thing about hope, it never goes away, it's buried in every one of us. It just needs a shining and a tune-up every so often from a leader who can inspire and move a generation.
I guess I could never explain to Barack the measure of gratitude I already have for him. He not only gave me my hope back but also my life. He inspired me to pay attention to the political process and I have discovered my calling. I have become more self-confident in my viewpoints and I no longer shy away from debating with other people or giving speeches in public. My speaking skills have increased dramatically. My self- esteem has shot way up. I have had strangers tell me that I inspire them, professors tell me that I should run for office one day, and friends tell me that I'm their hero.
And I owe it all to you, Senator.
I could never repay you for what you have done but I can tell you this.. I will do anything and everything I can to make sure that Barack Obama is the Fourty-Fourth President of the United States.
I can swear to that.