Around this time last night, I went through some sort of out - of - body experience, so, did I miss anything? Did I do anything noteworthy? I didn't embarass myself, did I?
It's 90 days until the election. 90 days...90 f*ckin' days... I have a terrible feeling that a good chunk of the next 90 days will be like an out - of - body experience. I wonder if GWB will bring back any election pointers for the GOP from the Chinese? Oh well...
Let's diary Countdown for a rather infamous date.
#5 "Under Pressure" AKA "Tire Rotation" AKA "College Boards" - I love that song by Queen & David Bowie! How does Senator McCentury not throw out a hip or 2 with all his acrobatics? All this flipping is damn dizzying. Today, Senator Obama was in Elkhart, IN at Concord High School; for those of you not familiar with Indiana geography, Elkhart is way the heck up north near the Michigan border. Indianapolis loves you, too, Senator Obama! When are you coming here? There’s Mr. Robinson! Whoever put that Obama sticker on the Straight – Talk Express should get free pizza for life. Chuck Todd’s talking about Indiana again. I got a call from the Obama campaign tonight to go canvassing this weekend. My parent’s 50th wedding anniversary is this weekend, and the comedy of me going door – to – door was discussed here the other night. The first time I’d hear the "n" or the "e" word out of someone’s mouth, my boot would be in a dark stinky place in that person’s anatomy. No, no, no to Evan Bayh; I just threw up a little in my mouth! I will be incredibly disappointed if Senator Obama picks Senator Bayh.
#4 "Anthrax Investigation" AKA "The ‘Case’ Against Ivins" AKA "Anthrax: Case Closed?" - Dr. Bruce Ivins did the dirty deed because my government told me so. Phew! I feel so much better now! Is that the Easter Bunny I see hopping down my street? How does one simply ignore the approximately 100 or so people who also had access to this lab – grade anthrax? I don’t think one of the law enforcement majors I advise would do that, and this "investigation" was done by the damn DOJ – the law enforcement division of the entire country! Who the f*ck’s been in charge over there lately?! Oh...yea... NEVER MIND! Can anyone fight this case being closed?
BUSHED! "The War Will Pay for Itself – Gate" - The Iraqi government has a surplus; where’s my cut? My tax dollars helped pay for this insanity, ya’ know! "Listening to the Generals on the Ground – Gate" - Afghanistan’s situation isn’t desperate? Aren’t more Americans dying there than in Iraq these days? "Legacy – Gate" - Happy 7th "birthday" to the daily briefing warning about 9/11. We dropped the bomb on Hiroshima on this date in 1945, too. What is it about this date?!
**Look at the poor little kitty! I’ll take it; oh wait, that commitment threat from hubby...I better not. FAUX News should be sent to a KFC in Falluja!**
#3 "McJustice" AKA "Git Mo Justice" - Considering how much we’ve gamed the system at Gitmo, isn’t it kind of amazing that Hamdan wasn’t convicted of the most serious charge? I bet Neal Katyal has STORIES! I can’t even imagine. If this trial was the "show case" trial, gadzooks! How successful are we going to be convicting KSM – if we don’t kill him while torturing him before he can be tried?!
WPITW – Keith, you’re starting to get a little OCD with Mr. Bull Snort again. Let’s have a day or 2 break, OK? Please?! It sounds like this Tinker chick and Michelle Malkin should be BFFs; they are both extremely self – hating because they weren’t born white.
#1 "Celebrity Cat Fight" AKA "Ad Libbing" - Senator McCentury liked the Paris ad? What a moran! If my choice is between Senator McCentury and Yoda, Yoda wins by a landslide! Senator McCentury a woman - hating flipper he is!