With the federal bailout of AIG, the U.S. taxpayer is now an owner of Stowe Mountain Resort (formerly owned by AIG Global Real Estate) in Stowe, Vermont. As a new owner, all you need to do to ski free is to show your social security card and bank debit or credit card and you'll be on your way up the slope. If your cell phone starts beeping a text message on the way down the slope, don't worry, just ignore it. That'll be your friendly share price notification service. Indeed, your share price is $683 ($80 billion - the bailout price, divided by 117 million - the number of individual tax payers).
If you're disgusted by the bailout, think again! The 2008-2009 season's pass at Stowe costs $1,766. With this bailout, you've saved over $1,000! You can now afford another month's payment on your 3200 square foot house. Or you can drive to the grocery store in your Hummer again. Aren't you feeling so much better now that you're reaping the fruits of compassionate conservatism?