Remember Gabe Schwartz, the RNC Romeo that got taken for $120,000 after calling for "Less taxes, more war"? He's in the news again today, back to put his foot into his mouth one more time.
From the Saint Paul Pioneer Press, we hear yet again from Gabriel Nathan Schwartz explaining we have it all wrong. Yes, this Libertarian Lothario was robbed by a clever object of his attention, but he didn't lose that much and certainly, "not the inflated number that the media is reporting".
Oh, well that's good. Where did police ever come up with that ridiculous amount?
...Minneapolis police said their estimate that the cash and items were worth about $120,000 came from Schwartz himself.
"It comes from him," Minneapolis police spokesman Sgt. William Palmer said of the higher figure. "We didn't make that up."...Palmer said investigators have asked Schwartz to document the value of the items he reported stolen. He said he couldn't explain the discrepancy between the figures Schwartz initially reported and what he now claims.
"I think he (Schwartz) is going to have to speak to that," Palmer said.
By the way, apparently poor Gabe was relieved of "a $30,000 watch, a $20,000 ring, a $5,000 necklace, $4,000 earrings, a $1,500 cell phone, a $1,000 wallet or purse and a $1,000 black Prada belt."
Necklace? Earrings? Prada belt? and a "wallet or purse?" Well, which is it, Gabe? (Ex-) Senators Foley and Craig want to know!
Oh, and by the way, that video interview he gave at the convention? Ha-ha! He was only joking!
"The interview is a farce and does not accurately express my political views. I endorse the platform of the Republican National Committee."
Haa-haa-ha-ha-ha-hummm. Great satire, but Gabe?
"Less taxes, more war" is the platform of the RNC.
Most entertaining was poor, poor Gabe's view of the whole sordid afair:
"As a single man, I was flattered by the attention of a beautiful woman who introduced herself to me," his statement said. "I used poor judgment."
Gee, ya think?
If there is any good that can come from this humiliation, it is to caution others that date rape happens to men, too."
Yeah, well........wait. What did he just say?
If there is any good that can come from this humiliation, it is to caution others that date rape happens to men, too."
Okaaaayyy, Gabe. I mean it's almost the same, right? On the one hand, there's getting your Rolex stolen while you're sleeping, and on the other hand, there's...ummm...well....being raped. Pretty comparable, right?
My wife, the swing voter, nearly popped a bolt when she read that one. I'm pretty sure she's swung back to the D side for good, now, Gabe, and thanks for the safety tip.