I've decided that I am going to write some very nasty things in this diary about John McCain. Each nasty thing I write will be either a lie, a smear, and/or way below the belt. None of it will be true but this is the Straight Talk Diary Express and I'll start off with this lie.
John McCain Eats Children's Toenails.
A couple of months ago I wrote on Daily Kos inviting Senator to join me and thousands of others at Netroots Nation in Austin so that he could answer questions from ordinary people. McCain never accepted that invitation. Thus it is John McCain's fault that I have accused him of eating children's toenails. Had John McCain shown up at the townhall style meeting in Austin, this never would have happened.
John McCain wants to teach sex to preschoolers
Now I admit this is a disgusting, scurrilous allegation on my part and I have no factual basis to make it. But please forgive me. Had John McCain accepted my invitation to attend the townhall style netroots nation convention in Austin this summer, the tone of this diary would be very different and it wouldn't be so negative. It's not my fault I typed this, it's John McCain's.
John McCain eats Dog Chow for lunch.
This is another nasty, dishonest, attack by me against John McCain but it's not my fault. Had John McCain accepted my invitation to attend the townhall style netroots nation convention in Austin this summer, the tone of this diary would be very different and it wouldn't be so negative. It's not my fault I typed this, it's John McCain's.
John McCain Wants To Give Millions of Children Rabies
This too is way over the line and doesn't meet the 100% truth test. Clearly, what I am saying here is dishonest, scurrilous, and completely made up. But it's not my fault. Had John McCain accepted my invitation to attend the townhall style netroots nation convention in Austin this summer, the tone of this diary would be very different and it wouldn't be so negative. It's not my fault I typed this, it's John McCain's.
Now I also want to make a few things clear. For every time I ever misbehaved at home, it's not my fault. Had my parents accepted my request to give me that toy I screamed for when I was two years old, none of my negative behaviors would have occurred. It's not my fault that I sometimes misbehaved, it's the fault of my parents for not accepting my invitation to give me what I wanted and when I wanted it.
To every educator who ever saw me act out in class, it's not my fault. Had you sat down with me and agreed to cater to my whims on my terms the first time I asked you, I truly would have behaved 100% perfectly. It's not my fault that I sometimes was rude or disrespectful, it's the fault of the teachers for not accepting my invitation.
I could go on and on but I don't want to include the complete list of everybody who is responsible for every bad thing I ever said or did.
Moreover I'd like to again formally invite John McCain to sit down with me for 60 minutes on his next visit to New York so I can ask him questions about his policies. [ :) } But if he refuses and I claim in the next couple of weeks that John McCain is a space alien or that John McCain wants to put poison in the food of everyone living east of Michigan, please be aware that it will not be my fault that I will be lieing or engaging in gutter politics. It will be the fault of John McCain for his refusal to accept my invitation to attend the townhall style netroots nation convention in Austin this summer and accept my latest invitation.