I wasn't seventeen when I got pregnant, but I was young and unmarried. Far from preaching abstinence only, my parents had gone out of their way to inform me at a very young age about "How babies are Made," including getting me a classic childrens' sex-ed book of that name in kindergarten. At family gatherings, my mother still fondly recalls the time I asked my father if he had "given a sperm to Mary". Mary was my half-sister's mother.
When I was fourteen, my father and I had a frank conversation in our purple station wagon about homosexuality. It went sort of like this: My dad: Hey, just so you know, if you're a lesbian, that would be okay. Me: Thanks. I don't think I am. But if that changes, I'll let you know. Basically, my parents were cool, liberal and open.
About ten years later, all that preparation, all that practice using the scientific names for genitalia, all flew out the window one deeply romantic night with my boyfriend. And suddenly....drumroll....I was pregnant.
The interesting thing about someone like me getting pregnant was that no one expected I would be so "foolish". I had always been soooo responsible. Good grades in college, good job and all that. And many who loved me made clear that this was a mistake I could still erase. To me, it was an unplanned but not unwanted pregnancy. I took a deep look inside myself, examined my heart and made the choice to become a mother.
That turned out to be the easiest part. The Christian conservatives I worked with clearly thought I was a slut. Some boomer-feminists friends thought I had been brainwashed by the right wing into having the baby, "You'll ruin your life!" People worried - out loud - about my personal situation without invitation. Acquaintances gave wholly unsolicited advice about what I should eat, who I should marry and how I could still "get out of it." The judgment was HARSH, and believe me it came from both sides of the aisle. No one escaped it. Not me, not my parents, not my boyfriend.
So, this week when Sarah Palin announced her daughter was pregnant, and people on the right and left started using her as an example to prove this policy right, or that world-view wrong, making judgments about why she got pregnant, I thought, "Enough!" NO-ONE, except Bristol and her hunky hockey player know what happened there, nor should they. When it comes to women and their bodies, this entire country has a long way to go. The right needs to recognize the right a woman has to choose her own destiny and the left needs to be ready to accept that choice, no matter what it is - or WHO she is. (Or who her parents are)
I think John McCain showed his incredible lack of judgment and temperament when he flipped out post-DNC and chose a person he'd met once to be on his ticket. Obama showed he had the best interests of the country at heart when he picked dependable, wise Joe Biden to join his ticket. Those are the only choices I'm willing to make judgments about.
p.s. It occurs to me that many of you (including myself) are fucking sick of this Palin-prego topic. However, I personally and selfishly feel much better having gotten it off my chest. Many thanks!