Cross-posted at BloggingForMichigan.com
Politics can make for great theater. It can also degenerate into squalid, Rotten Tomatoes-grade acting. A good example of the latter took place in the House chamber last month when a group of Republican representatives held a "speak-in" on energy legislation. "Speak-in" is a fancy name for a make-believe House session, which held a make-believe debate on energy policy. The Republicans' version of "energy policy" was--and is--to lift all restrictions on oil and gas drilling everywhere from the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to the Outer Continental Shelf off the coast of Florida, and to repeal all environmental laws that might have an impact on the energy industry.
There's more if you drill beneath the surface...
The "speak-in" was organized by the House Republican Policy Conference, which is headed by Thaddeus McCotter (MI-11). McCotter's Republican Policy Committee blog has provided the "minutes" of the speak-in, which consist of sound bites by Republicans that sounded much better to people who think like McCotter than to people who don't.
As a public service to the dKos community, I went through the RPC's blog (so you don't have to) and extracted the following award-winning sound bites from the speak-in.
The envelope, please...
The "Oh, So THAT Explains It" award:
Now Russia's trying to build their own OPEC. That's why they attacked Georgia."--Bill Sali (ID), September 12.
The "But Isn't This the Same Fossil Fuel We Need at Home?" award:
And ultimately, the more fossil fuel we can export, the more freedom we can export.--Tim Walberg (MI), September 12.
The "Didn't George W. Bush Do This in August 2001?" award:
I want you to imagine the following scenario. You have a major problem at work that needs to be solved. You go to your boss and say, 'I'm going to take a 5 week paid vacation and take care of this problem when I get back.' Wouldn't go over too well with your boss, would it? --Thaddeus McCotter, September 5.
The "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Light Sweet Crude" award:
We need to be drilling here and now, and develop our own resources. Do what our founding fathers intended.--Lynn Westmoreland (GA), September 4.
The "Keen Grasp of the Obvious" award:
From the time you wake up in the morning and turn on the coffee-maker until the time you go to bed and turn off the light, you've used energy all day.--Mac Thornberry (TX), September 4.
The "One Stop Shopping" award:
We need more oil refineries in the US - for example we could convert old military bases.--Dave Camp (MI), September 4.
The "Only If You Ignore the Infrastructure" award:
No more than two thousand acres of land in ANWR for drilling - comparable to the precentage of land that Dulles airport would occupy in South Carolina."--Todd Platts (PA), September 3.
The "Don't Use This Excuse For Filling Up and Driving Off Without Paying" award:
It is your oil, not her (Pelosi's) oil.--Thaddeus McCotter, August 22.
The "So What if the Numbers Don't Add Up?" award:
Seventy percent of oil we consume comes from overseas because the Outer Continental Shelf, the coastal plain in Alaska, and oil shale has been walled off. --John Boehner (OH), August 20.
The "Republicans Have a Magic Energy Wand" award:
In six years, we could be free from ever having to buy a single barrel of foreign oil. --Mike Rogers (MI), August 19.
The "Carlos Castaneda Separate Reality" award:
I hope you leave here and say you've seen democracy in action.--Mike Pence (IN), August 15.
The "That's Why There Are Stills in Stillwater, Minnesota" award:
We are in a prohibition-era mentality when it comes to our own energy.--Michele Bachman (MN), August 15.
The "But Gas Was $1.50 a Gallon When Bush Took Office" award:
When Republicans were in the Majority, gas was $2.10. Now, under Democrats, gas is 4.11 cents on average?"-Lynn ("Uppity") Westmoreland (GA), August 13.
The "Stay Classy" award (2-way tie):
When Nancy Pelosi took over the gavel, we went from an American agenda to a San Francisco agenda.--Steve King (IA), August 11.
The Democrat leadership is OPEC's best friend.--Louie Gohmert (TX), August 7.
The "Mrs. Malaprop" award:
We can do bio-diverse fuels.--Tom Feeney (FL), August 11.
The "Is Our Lawmakers Learning?" award:
I learned the Law of Supply and Demand in 11th grade in high school. When supply doesn't match demand, the price is out of whack.--Lee Terry (NE), August 7.
The "Do As I Say, Not As I Did" award:
Tolerance is willingness to listen to another's point of view and to give them a chance.--Joe Barton (TX), August 7.
Barton chaired the House Rules Committee in the 109th Congress and was notorious for shutting Democrats out of the process--especially when it came to energy legislation.
The "I Ought to Win a Free Case of Sam Adams Beer for This Analogy" award:
When we were colonies of England, and were threatened with the stamp act, when anything involved in commerce will be taxed. Like that, the energy issue brings us all together.--Peter Roskam (IL), August 4.
And finally the grand prize winner...
The "I'm Spending My Children's Inheritance" award:
But right now, I care more about being able to fill up my family's minivan with reasonably-prices [sic] gas than I do about saving the planet.--Thaddeus McCotter, September 12.