I don't know how, but the poem Eskimo Nell (I learned some it when I played rugby) kept ringing in my head whenever I thought of The Palinator. So I decided to give doggerel a try. Skip below and have a read.
Now pull up a chair and I'll tell you a tale
The truth of which won't be failing
Of FlipFlop McCain and the GOP train
and a governor called Eskimo Palin
Of when Flipper McCain, who began to wane
And Barak was grabbing the thunder
How he chose someone new from out of the blue
And made many a person wonder
Johnny was out, down for the count
and the Mittster was grabbing his votes
And Rudy was hot, but Johnny was not
he just couldn't hit the right notes
So he hired Karl Rove and into the fray he dove
To make johnny sing the right tune
To say black was white and he did so despite
the fact that he sounds like a loon
But the masses they bought it and the wave, well, he caught it
And rode to the nomination once lost
But he needed a partner, one who won't falter
a maverick at any and all costs
But who should he pick, not just any old hick
someone further afield than he
so he made one phone call while in a stall
to not he, but indeed to she
For Eskimo Palin she was out sailin
under the bridge to nowhere
but a cell phone had she, and she said "I'm ready"
I'm a pick beyond all compare
I'll field dress a moose (as Veep that's of use)
and put lipstick back in its place
I'll come to St Paul and the crowds I'll enthrall
and solidly shore up your base
So with family in tow she jumped an ice floe
and made her way to St Paul
she stood on the stage and threw red meat to the rage
like a debutant at her first ball
But then info was leaking when bloggers were seeking
Stuff about Trig on the stage
But Eskimo Palin, she started railin
Got pissed and flew into a rage
The bloggers were close, and McCain was morose
Wondering if he'd chose the right gal
A press release made, more do-do to wade
All thanks to his new best pal
Upon some reflection, a veep for election
Many people said "wait a sec..."
Ready is she? Maybe not for me!
While others said "oh, what the heck"
The clammour of the press who could only guess
About her fitness and views
So she was prepped real well, and sent to sell
Herself to Charlie and the news
She kept to the script, didn't deviate a bit
As polite and as proper as a mouse
As to foreign policy, it's easy you see
I can see Russia from my house!
But stumble she did on the Bush doctrine
Which nary a person could state
But Charlie, he knew and explained it too
so Eskimo Palin could relate
She said Shoot first, for it would be worse
to wait until we were sure
Let Israel attack and Iran we would sack
For America, we are the pure
Her shine started fading, as more do-do needed wading
and in hiding Johnny keeps her for for now
But the debates they're a-coming, for some it will be numbing
And it remains to see what she does and how
But one thing's for sure, she's been a good cure
for the base that McCain needs to win
And a liberal may balk at the tone of her talk
when echoed by all of her kin
So FlipFlop McCain is back on the train
With a choice that to some is a failin
But to others she's great, for liberals she hates
In a word, that's Eskimo Palin