I've just been mind-f*cked by Douglas Holtz-Eakin, Senator John McCain's chief adviser on economics.
He blames "Barack Obama's Democrats" for the blow-up on the House bill.
Here's the link to the story, via HuffPo
Watch the video, and I'll try to follow along.
SHUSTER: Whoa, back up a sec. You said today. How was John McCain involved in negotiations today? If you can't answer that specifically, how did the democrats fail them today?
HOLTZ-EAKIN: Today, Speaker Pelosi delivered an incendiary partisan speech at a moment when bipartisanship was needed to prevail. John McCain put together a process where the Republicans were at the table. At every point in that process as he tried to develop --
OK. Completely evades one question and gives a shitty answer for another. Mindf*ck: commenced.
Shuster goes for another question, somehow under the impression that Holtz-Eakin actually listens to the blather that comes out of his pie hole:
SHUSTER: Let's take your first point, Doug. So you're saying, fair enough, partisan speech. fair enough. That would also then mean that republicans today put their own feelings, their own hurt feelings about partisanship, ahead of the good of the country. right?
HOLTZ-EAKIN: Look, John McCain worked the phones today. He worked the phones every day. He's visited with members of the Republican party. This was a tough vote. A week ago they were excluded from the process. There was no deal. Taxpayers weren't protected. He moved the bill to match the principles they wanted. They really were counting on some Democratic participation in that.
Again, doesn't actually answer the questions. He's like a talking machine robot with faulty wiring. He's hitting the points, just not when prompted correctly. When faced with a real question, he goes back to the "Democrats Suck: Greatest Hits Collection"
Then, Holtz-Eakin does something with logic that I think I saw in Alice and Wonderland, and has his head shoved so far up his own rabbit-hole that he comes up with this wonderful nugget of wisdom:
HOLTZ-EAKIN: Let us be very clear that John McCain understands that had he looked like he would have been the key to the success, the Democrats would have attacked him and killed the deal. That's what you saw today. They were not going to let McCain do the job that he was trying to do, deliver a bill to help the American people.
OK. Let's follow this. Students, take out your notebooks. John McCain suspended his campaign to go help pass the bailout. Because he's so mavericky. But then, in another mavericky move, he decided that his helping with the bailout would only hurt. So either way, whether or not John McCain shows up, he's doing something wrong. Obama, on the other hand, can only do wrong. He didn't show up. So he screwed up. But the Democrats, they were there, and they pushed too hard. So they screwed up.
Looks around at classroom of students. Half are drooling. Many have left. One is trying to shove his pencil through his earlobe, to distract him from the pain
I'll give him credit. At least, like Lindsey Graham, he wasn't too tired to shill for McCain.
The coup de grace (Shuster finally asks him a direct question):
SHUSTER: You said he was there to deliver Republican votes. The fact of the matter is, he did not.
HOLTZ-EAKIN: He took process from dead in the water to a vote in the House of Representatives this morning. absolutely dead in the water, no hope whatsoever, a bill everyone condemned. This morning we had a vote only because of John McCain. That vote could have been successful, but the Democrats behaved poorly. That's too bad.
So Holtz-Eakin moves the bars. John McCain's McMaverickness was a success. You wanna know why? Not because he got it passed. Because he ALMOST did. But Obama showed poor leadership. Why? Because he couldn't even get it passed!
And then, to top it all off, "Democrats behaved poorly". Wah. F*cking. Wah. Cry me a river.
John McCain didn't suspend his campaign. His campaign suspended logic.
But hey. It's just our economy in the balance.