After a post-Obama performance that made Sarah Palin look like Hillary Clinton, Bobby Jindal was universally derided by conservatives, liberals and everyone in between. The usually-mild CNN website offered this unflattering roundup of reaction from across the political spectrum:
It was billed as a "coming out party" for one of the GOP's most promising young stars.
But after nearly universal criticism was heaped on Gov. Bobby Jindal's high-profile response to President Obama's address to Congress Tuesday night, the Louisiana Republican may be wishing he had stayed home.
The criticisms came from all sides of the political spectrum, including from those in conservative circles who have promoted the 36-year-old governor as the GOP's most likely advocate to bring the party back from the brink of irrelevance.
And the traditionally sycophantic Candy Crowly remarked that Bobby Jindal seemed "over-coached and over-rehearsed." Fellow conservatives, displaying rare flashes of honesty, offered reactions that ranged from "inane" to "amateurish."
But one person, fueled by viagra, oxycotin and a Texas-sized man crush, stood alone in Bobby Jindal's defense. According to Think Progress:
But Jindal still maintains one key supporter — Rush Limbaugh. On his radio show this afternoon, Limbaugh leaped to Jindal’s defense. "I love Bobby Jindal, and that did not change after last night," he said.
The following is the gory footage, but I urge you to skip to my paraphrase below it instead.
As promised, a paraphrase of Rush's bellicose defense Bobby "the late-night punchline" Jindal:
How fucking dare anyone out there make fun of Bobby after all he's been though!? He loves his aunt! He went through a divorce! He had two fucking kids! His husband turned out to be a cheater, a user! And now he's going through a custody battle! All you people care about is readers and making money off of him! HE'S A HUMAN! What you don't realize is that Bobby is making you all this money and all you do is write a bunch of carp about him. He hasn't performed on stage in years. His song is called "give me more" for a reason. Because you all you want is MORE! MORE! MORE! LEAVE HIM ALONE!