This diary is meant to be a vent. I hope this will allow me to release some of my frustration at what I see in the media and in those around me, inluding myself. I hope that I can get a few people to think as well.
You're beautiful. So what? You're ugly. So what? What does that have to do with anything? Follow me below the fold to find out.
We all take part in it. Yes even me. Even as I write this rant I am guilty of it as well. I admire, desire, and even exalt it. Even in parts of my life that have absolutely nothing to do with it. In fact, there is only one part of my life where it has any true relevance. If I were religious (and I'm not), I would not find it in the teachings. What is it? I'm sure you've already guessed: beauty.
We cherish it, especially in women. We worship it. We undergo needless surgery (life threatening I might add, just ask Kanye and Usher), and suffer through extreme diets to attain it. We exercise to exhaustion and fill our cabinets with expensive cosmetics all in the name of beauty. But why? Why is it so important?
Think about it. Do you care what your doctor looks like? How about your friends? Your siblings? Your parents? Your boss? Your employees? Your colleagues? How about your psychiatrist? Your baker? Do any of these people have to be attractive in order to receive your business, respect, or love? Of course not you say! What a silly question. Then why do we focus on it so much? Why is the cosmetic industry a billion dollar business? Why when asked, would young girls rather be pretty than smart?
Why is calling someone (physically) ugly an insult?
Physical beauty is a genetic lottery prize, like the ability to sing, dance, or draw. There is nothing wrong with being attractive. In fact, I quite enjoy looking at attractive people, just like I enjoy a beautiful landscape or flower. However, beauty has the same value as the ability to sing- really none at all.
Now I know what some will argue. The ability to sing, and draw, and dance has given us some of our greatest, most inspiring works. And that they have. However, not being able to sing, dance, or draw, does not mean that you will not have a happy, fulfilling life. If you can't sing, oh well. If you can't dance, no biggie. Can't draw a straight line with a ruler? Life goes on. The same can not be said for beauty. For some reason, we associate beauty with success. Thus, attractiveness is no longer just a bonus, but a necessity, more so for women than men. We have attached value to it, where really none exists. It is a plus, but no more necessary than the ability to dance, completely superfluous to our existence and happiness.
This added value is why many women feel better about themselves after a makeover. This is why the heroine in the story is almost always beautiful and her antagonist is almost always ugly. Because of this value judgment, we are constantly trying to broaden the beauty "umbrella." Everyone's beautiful, even if they're not. We don't do this with anything else. If you can't hold a tune to save your life, you aren't winning American Idol. No one is going to call you a good singer to make you feel better. You simply can't sing.
What's wrong with calling a spade a spade? Because we associate being attractive with having worth, and being unattractive with having less or none. Why? We all know from experience that one has absolutely nothing to do with the other. Good and bad come in all different colors, shapes, sizes, creeds, genders, etc. Beauty is no exception. It guarantees nothing.
Many people feel horribly depressed when they aren't viewed as attractive.
Take a look:
Again, why? Being, honest, caring, compassionate, a hard worker, curious, open-minded, and intelligent all have a greater impact on the ultimate personal and professional success in our lives than beauty ever will.
So why write this? I'm preaching to the choir right? Intellectually, we know this to be true. But I think it is time to put it in practice. I think our very happiness is at stake. We need to start putting beauty in its proper place. So if someone comes up to you and says you're ugly, say "so what?" Challenge them. Ask them why it is even important. Start taking a stand for things that matter, and stop focusing on things that don't.