Not really, but I thought I'd at least try to apply the spirit to the theorists' rhetoric.
So I don't have a car anymore. I had to sell my piece-of-crap last August to pay the rent, and that's just how it goes. In November and December, I had a series of seizures (still unexplained) that left me unable to legally drive until March 3rd. I can now drive (woot!), but only when one of my cool neighbors is at home and lets me borrow her car. Today, she was at work when I went to the grocery so, ya know, I had to walk and stuff.
When I walk to the grocery store, I usually take a cab home because I can't lug all those bags on the bus. The cabbie that comes to pick me up is a decent chap but, man, he is seriously misinformed.
The cabbie knows me pretty well - he's picked me up from the local King Soopers at least a dozen times by now. I even saw him at the park once when I was with my daughter, and he stopped to wave and say hello. I love this guy.
The first few times this particular cabbie drove me home, he kinda freaked me out. I gathered that he wasn't an Obama supporter just from a few random things he said, and I never asked why or anything. But he lives in my same city (a little 'burb right outside of Boulder), and he saw one of his neighbors on the way to my pad, who was sporting an Obama/Biden bumper sticker. So I took the time to finally ask.
Me: Did you vote for Obama?
Cabbie: Oh GOD no! I would never vote for him.
M: Why not?
C: He's run by the corporations.
M: Well, who did you vote for then?
C: I'm part of the Constitution Party. I voted for my man, Chuckie Baldwin.
M: Huh. I don't know anything about them, but I'm down with the Constitution.
I looked them up when I got home. Yeah. So much for the friggin' Constitution Party. Separation of church and state, people! What the hell is wrong with you, Dear Cabbie? Those folks are ... uhm ... the right-wing of the right-wing. They sound like militia members, I gotta say. And I would bet serious money that they don't vaccinate their kids.
We then had this exchange, a bit later:
C: I hate that guy, what's his name? Barney Frank!
M: I love Barney! Why do you hate him?
C: Because he ran a prostitution ring out of his office!
M: What the hell are you talking about?! Barney is gay, man.
C: I know, but that didn't stop him from running a ring filled with 11-year-old kids ...
M: Oh, quit! That's total crap. Where did you even hear that? That's totally untrue, dude.
C: No, it's not! Look it up!
So I did look it up. Is it true? Of course not. Barney apparently had sex in the late 80s with some chap that worked for him, and admitted it. End of story. Wikipedia says:
In 1990, The House Ethics Committee recommended Frank be reprimanded because he "reflected discredit upon the House" by using his congressional office to fix 33 of Steve Gobie's parking tickets. Frank confirmed that he paid Gobie for sex, hired him with personal funds as an aide and wrote letters on congressional stationery on his behalf to Virginia probation officials, but Frank said he fired Gobie when he learned that prostitution clients were visiting the apartment.
The investigation into Gobie and Frank's interactions were prompted by Gobie's attempt to cash in on assertions that Frank knew and approved of Gobie's illegal activities in the Frank residence. "Two years [after Frank fired Gobie], Gobie tried unsuccessfully to sell his story to the Washington Post. He then gave the story to the Washington Times for nothing, in hopes of getting a book contract for the male version of The Mayflower Madam." After an investigation, the Ethics Committee found no evidence that Frank had known of or been involved in the alleged illegal activity and dismissed all of Gobie's more scandalous claims.
Attempts to expel or censure Frank, led by Republican member Larry Craig (who himself was later embroiled in his own gay sex scandal), failed.Rather, the House voted 408-18 to reprimand Frank who later won re-election in 1990 with 66 percent of the vote, and has won by larger margins ever since.
Nothing about 11-year-old kids in there. What a HUGE surprise!
Seriously folks, if this can happen in the People's Republic of Boulder, then it must be really bad in the rest of the country. Where the hell do these people come from?!
Also, I'm pretty sure the cabbie was hitting on me. He put his arm around me several times while unloading my groceries from his trunk. I tried the convey the whole "You are totally invading my personal space" vibe, but I'm not sure I was completely successful.
Then again, he votes the Constitution Party which, as it turns out, should really be called the Bible Party. I'm not sure I could successfully convey anything to that man.
Plus, he listens to smooth jazz.