In what can only be called the most shocking career move ever made by a US Senator, Arlen "The Ghost" Specter, is switching parties, again!
Meet me on the other side of the Romulan Neutral Zone...
You have to hand it to Arlen "Old Faithful" Specter, he really makes people mad. In an exclusive interview with Intercaust World News & Falafel Cookbook Specter drops a bombshell that will surely surprise the entire American electorate.
Intercaust: Sen. Specter, America is on the edge of its seat in anticipation of the news you are sharing today?
Specter: Well, I have been a Democrat for a very short time. A move that really pissed off the Republicans. But I was pissing off Republicans long before it was fashionable. Some of my senate homies call me "OP: Original Pisser". You know my wife, she makes really great brownies.
Intercaust: Brownies? What?
Specter: You know my last name means "ghost"? I liked that movie Ghost. That scene with the clay was really hot. I don't believe in ghosts. Except the ghost of Ronald Reagan. I can't seem to get rid of him.
Intercaust: Senator if we could please get back to your swi...
Specter: (Interrupting)The conductor said I could take my book bag and run aaaaaaallllll around the corridor.
Intercaust: Are you alright senator?
Specter: Why I'm fine.
Intercaust: Can we get back to...
Specter: Yes, let's move this along. I have a meeting scheduled with the leaders of my new party.
Intercaust: And that's what everyone in America wants to know. You've been pissing off Republicans for years, then you switched to Democratic party and pissed them off for a couple weeks. Who's the lucking party that you will be pissing off in the future?
Specter: And I'm here to tell you some very exiting news. I'm proud to announce, my new party, is the Black Panthers.
Intercaust:.......................................uh, er..........I think some of the fillings in my mouth just melted. Did your fillings melt?
Specter: I gave it a lot of thought. I asked myself, "Self, which party do I have absolutely nothing in common with?" The Black Panthers just seemed like a natural fit. Just like me, my African-American brothers in the Panthers have been fighting for civil rights for blacks for decades.
Intercaust: What is it you have in common with the Black Panthers?
Specter: Fighting for the rights of the oppressed classes in America. They have been fighting for African-Americans for a long time. Me, I have been fighting hard for the oppressed old rich Christian white guys for decades. I understand the struggle, just like my brothers in the Panthers.
Intercaust: Let me get this straight. You are going to join the Black Panthers because you have been fighting for oppressed "old rich Christian white guys" all your life?
Specter: That's right.
Intercaust: So what will be your political platform as a Black Panther candidate in the upcoming senate race?
Specter: Oh, I'm no longer with the Black Panthers.
Intercaust: I don't mean to sound unprofessional senator but what the fuck are you talking about?
Specter: I'm no longer with the Black Panthers.
Intercaust: But you just told me you were with them 30 seconds ago.
Specter: Well, I was. And I managed to piss them off already. But that's ancient history now. I'm keeping my eye on the ball. I'm looking forward. Not in my rear view mirror. I'm now with a party that I think that I can really piss off, also.
Intercaust: And that is....?
Specter: The American Nazi Party. They have a long tradition of...
Intercaust: Are you out of your fucking mind? Sweet Jesus on a candy cane! You are a Jew! J-E-W Jew! Did someone attack you with weapons grade stupidity?
Specter: I can't imagine a more natural fit than I and the American Nazi Party.
Intercaust: But they hate Jews! How can you even consider such a...?
Specter: The conductor said I could take my book bag and run aaaaaallll around the corridor.
Intercaust: Senator Specter, this is an outrage. Certainly, even you can see the political damage that joining the Nazi Party will cause?
Specter: Not at all. I think we are a natural fit. That's why I am leaving the American Nazi Party. Actually, it's not so much that I'm leaving the Nazi Party, it's more like the Nazi Party left me. In the past minutes, that I was a member, the Nazis have gone so far to the right that my philosophy of what I call "Specter Uber Alles" just didn't mesh with them. I will forever be grateful to the Nazis for the warm reception they gave me but it's time to move on.
Intercaust: Dare I ask, move on to where?
Specter: Well, since leaving the Republican party, the Democratic party, the Black Panther and the American Nazi Party - I feel that the best place for me to serve the American people is by joining the Mujahadeen, taking up jihad and become Al Qieda.
Intercaust: You've got to be shitting me? Again, you are a Jew. Both Nazis and Al-Qieda hate Jews! Hello, is anybody home?
Specter:I think the best thing for the Amrican people is for I and the terrorists working hand-in-hand to build a better future and destroy Al-Qieda wherever they raise their heads. I feel I can do this most effectively as...
Intercaust:(Interupting)Wait. Are you supporting the terrorists or do you want to destroy them?
Specter: Destroy of course.
Intercaust: Did you ju...you...did you ju...??? You just changed changed positions in mid-sentence!! When you started that sentence you were Al-Qieda and half way through it you changed your fucking mind!! Are you on crack?
Specter: No, but I did score some Oxies from El Rushbo. I can see why he loves these things.
Intercaust: So you are no longer a terrorist. May I ask which party you are finally siding with?
Specter: Yes, you may ask. In recent years I have seen this country get destroyed from the inside out. The real evil lies in a place that most dare not speak of. He is the enemy of all that is old, white, Christian and rich. He pulls the strings of every left-wing blogger, as well as the New York Times. In addition to that - he finances abortion clinics, FEMA concentration camps and Media Matters. He can only be stopped by the combined might of me, Zell Miller, Joe Lieberman, Joe the Douch-Nozzle and an army of mindless fembots all cloned to look and talk like Ann Coulter. That's right! I am here to declare war on the greatest threat to Democracy the world have ever known!
Intercaust: So what's his name already?
Specter: His name! Is George Soros Acorn Jewy Kos McLiberal!!!
Intercaust: Does that person even exist? I don't think that's a real person.
Specter: Well, I heard from El Rushbo, Hannity, Wiener(Savage) and Michelle Bachmann that he is the greatest threat in the entire world. And I am ready to fight!
Intercaust: OK. Well, good luck with that senator.
Specter: Have you seen Sancho Panza around? He has my book bag and my horse.
Intercaust: Uh, I gotta go.