Montana Sen. Max Baucus stepped into the middle of the debate swirling around the still-unresolved question of the exact birth status of Barack Hussein Obama, proposing compromise legislation that Baucus believes will satisfy advocates on both sides of the issue.
"By having an open and honest dialogue, I am confident that we can build momentum, find consensus, and bring about a solution to this problem," Baucus said.
Baucus' bill would place Obama's birth at the U.S. embassy in Nairobi, Kenya. The senior senator from the Treasure State says the measure represents a compromise that gives everyone a level playing field: it would mollify those who maintain that the president was not born in the United States, while still giving Obama the ability to prove his side's claims of citizenship.
"We applaud the efforts of Senator Baucus to try to make it a bipartisan approach because we think that will be thoroughly vetted and one where I think we're going to get more sustainable solutions coming out of it," said attorney/dentist/tae kwon do expert Orly Taitz in an interview with Reuters.
"Fundamentally, legislation that is historic, that is comprehensive, that has a large number of senators supporting it is more durable," Baucus said in an interview. "It will be more sustainable and will inspire more public confidence."
Baucus, flanked by his senior adviser Alexander "A-Hip" Hippocrates (described by some as a much larger version of the bug-eyed pile of money in the Geico commercials – a veritable Andre the Giant of benjamins compared to Geico’s Hervé Villechaize), spoke to reporters enthusiastically about the results of his cooperation with Senate Republicans. He said he believes his bipartisan approach can be used to solve many other intractable issues that have divided Americans and the world in recent years, including:
- determining the exact age of the universe (early proposals call for a compromise that would split the difference between 6,000 years and 14 billion years, setting the number at 10,000 years);
- settling at what age Obamacare will require Americans to submit to euthanasia;
- confirming exactly which members of Congress are anti-American;
- pinpointing precisely when the president became a secret Muslim;
- settling which body part - head or groin - U.S. citizens should aim for when Obama’s federal agents come to take their guns;
- revealing what really happened on July 20, 1969;
- stipulating what part of Russia Sarah Palin can see from her porch;
- ascertaining exactly where Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction are still hidden;
- and, finally, resolving the question of annexation of the Czech Sudetenland (Baucus: "My Republican colleagues and I believe it is peace in our time. Now go home and get a nice quiet sleep.")