"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned
Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."
Lory and Sam had gone out a few times, and it had started to feel serious. Lory was a bit clingy, didn't seem to like the diversity of Sam's friends and experience, so he pulled back. And even though he made it clear he expected them both to continue to be able to date around, Lory seemed to get stuck on that one night he'd murmured some especially sweet nothings.
Lory's pleading calls on his voicemail eventually tailed off, and the whole thing seemed to be history. Then Sam met Michelle, and after just one date they both knew they had found something special. Even so, they took it slow. Eight months later they were engaged, and on Jan 20 they were married.
When Lory heard about it -- OMFG. "It can't be!" she cried. "He's promised to me!" She tried to confront Sam, but he was out of the country "on his honeymoon." How likely was that? He was just trying to avoid her, he MUST have something to hide.
What could he have to hide except the fact that he hadn't married at all? This was nothing but a thinly veiled excuse to avoid his true feelings toward Lory. Maybe this Michelle person didn't even exist!
Lory eventually got enough eye-witness accounts of the wedding itself to understand that someone had been standing in as the bride. But the "pastor" must have been in cahoots. Probably just an actor. If only someone could prove to her that the pastor was real, she'd accept that Sam was gone for good.
After Lory attended that pastor's church, and realized his 15-year ministry was a pretty strong cover-up, she had to admit that if she could see the public marriage record at City Hall she'd let Sam go. It took some doing, but finally she laid her eyes on the clever forgery. Of course Sam had connections in the clerk's office, he had once worked as an architect. In a different state.
Lory confided in a friend. Her friend said, "Lory! You're going to give yourself a heart attack! He's married! Give it up!"
So that friend had been bought, too. Lory cried that night, but woke with new resolve. Maybe the pastor was true -- who could say? Certainly questions remained on the marriage record -- and as anyone knows, when questions continue to be asked, it must mean the answers already given are false.
But if only Lory could be sure that Michelle was really a woman. Because if Michelle was actually a man, then Sam would have to annul an illegal gay marriage.
Lory's last remaining friend exclaimed, "Lory! Why are you hounding them? I think you're a bit obsessed. Michelle has children by a previous marriage, of course she's a woman."
Lory tried to calm herself and answer reasonably. "I just want to verify it. Is that so wrong?" And then she added, "I suppose the children were adopted."
Lory was last seen deep inside the Intarwebs, looking up pdf's on XXY chromosomal abnormalities and the adoption laws of Utah... if only she could verify that Sam's stepchildren weren't illegally bought by a transvestite serial killer widow, then she would happily let Sam get on with his life....