Everyone knows about "birthers" (a movement based on the incontrovertible fact that Jesus would never allow a non-white President), and "deathers" (this just in...Canadian socialized medicine extermination camps!!!).
But have you heard about the Pelosi-ers, who assert that Pelosi--NOT George Bush--was president for the past 8 years?
They do have some convincing evidence...
Hard core Pelosi-ers believe that Democrats, the liberal media, commie history professors, and Hollywood special effects people have erased all records of the Pelosi Presidency, replacing it with a fake record of a so-called Bush administration. The hard evidence:
- Name coincidence? Two Presidents with the same name? What are the chances of that? Not effing likely!
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Super debt. Would a fiscally conservative Republican President run up more U.S. IOU’s than all the other Presidents combined? And hand those IOUs to Red China? No way!
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Just look at him!. Videos of Bush are obviously just a poorly spliced incoherent hodgepodge of rambling verbiage, delivered with a fake cowboy accent--which no one else in his entire family is afflicted with. That, and his painfully inappropriate grimaces, giggles, and grunts can be explained only as second-rate CGI.
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Ranch? Supposedly Bush lived on a Texas "ranch," which was formerly a pig farm. But anyone other than an Eastern Liberal city slicker knows there is no such thing as a "pig ranch."
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The Guard. Reportedly, Bush was in the National Guard (at least until military random drug testing convinced him that his nose had other priorities). Anyone in the Guard more than 5 minutes would realize it was too ill equipped and under-trained to be used in a shooting war. Send it to Iraq? It had to be an ignorant squishy liberal who make that screwball mistake.
Some of the less militant Pelosi-ers admit that many of us have, or seem to have, memories of the Bush Presidency. So they offer an alternative theory: The revisionism went on DURING the Pelosi Presidency, with a fake Bush sock puppet pretending to be in charge. Some evidence:
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Vacation. Even in his first term, Bush spent more time on vacation than any other President in two terms. A President clearing brush? Or an actor rehearsing his role? Which makes more sense?
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9/11. When Bush heard about 9/11, he sat for an air-time eternity, leafing through "My Pet Goat." Then he vanished for days. Really? Or was Pelosi and her fake Bush puppeteers caught off-guard by an unscripted event?
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Katrina. Even as New Orleans drowned, Bush went on with his regular schedule, seemingly oblivious to the carnage. Could any human being be that cold-hearted, or was Pelosi again scrambling behind the scenes to rescript her fakery.
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Convention. Last year Bush appeared at the Republican National Convention as a pre-recorded tape--so Republicans could not see him in the flesh. How conveeeeenient!
I’m just sayin’!