Though George W. Bush was governor of Texas and chose to retire in Dallas, due to the efforts of a determined cabal, intelligence highlighting the Texan nature of the outgoing president was deliberately downplayed. Instead, a rural conservative faction fabricated evidence that Bush was actually Comptroller of Oregon. Much of the evidence came from a defector from a Eugene, Oregon squat, code- and nicknamed "Cheeseburger." Though officials were dubious of an informant known to lie about the quality of his bud and who gave contradictory evidence, such as claiming that Bush's signature was on the state tax audit of the Burger King where he worked, and also that he was at Burning Man while the audit occurred, supporters drummed up the Oregon location.
While Bend, Oregon initially greeted the news with joy, figuring that this would increase the tax base, problems quickly became apparent. Private contractors claimed the right of eminent domain over large areas of Bend, contrary to law, and common sense, as the areas were miles away from the library's planned location, which due to greater faulty intelligence, was in the middle of the Deschutes River. Twenty-seven surveyors, hired solely based on their donations to the Republican Party, died trying to plat the location.
Two years after ground breaking, and following further deaths, KBR was hired through a no bid contract to change the course of the Deschutes River. The subsequent flooding caused when a dam made of low quality cement collapsed wiped out Bend's downtown area. KBR was awarded a no bid contract to do the cleanup. When asked if KBR would make amends to those killed and ruined by the flood, the CEO of KBR stated, "I might be able to do that, if I can get a nice corporate tax cut." When asked how that was relevant, he then swigged Kristal and threw a bottle of caviar at the reporter.
Eventually, a new team was brought in to oversee the construction, and were hailed for their brilliant idea of moving the library, rather than the river. Construction got underway in earnest, but critics of the project were pointing to increasing evidence that Bush was actually Texan. They were dismissed, and apologists for the siting said that it would be an insult to the 872 dead to move the library to Texas. Also, $478 billion had already been spent.
Halliburton was then granted a no bid contract to finish the library. After five more years, and near daily protests through the remains of downtown Bend, new problems arose. Shoddy construction resulted in a librarian being electrocuted while using the gold plated bidet in the fourth subbasement. A suspicious partial collapse of the third floor ceiling crushed a $42 million database containing eight years of White House e-mails scheduled to be turned over to the Justice Department the next day.
Additionally, factionalism within the library staff was growing as well. Proponents of the Dewey decimal system took arms against radical advocates of the Library of Congress classification system. Both sides asserted their claim over the break room, leading to some of the worst clashes of the conflict, and numerous outfits ruined by thrown coffee. Eventually, sixty Bend Police Department officers were assigned full time to the library, resulting in a lull, but requiring that the Bend School District close seven schools to cover the costs.
After all this, Bush stood in front of the structure, which had exposed rebar, a variety of holes blown in it, no roof, and only fourteen books, if you count the Bend, Oregon White and Yellow Pages and a May 1987 TV Guide, and he proclaimed, "Mission Accomplished!"