I would wave it over the Republicans in Congress and turn their bullshit into gold. That would solve our nation's economic crisis in one fell swoop. There would be enough money for universal health care, paying off the deficit, college education for all, rebuilding the country's entire infrastructure, funding Social Security for the next 100 years, develop sustainable alternative energy sources, and giving every man, woman, and child a check for $5,000.
Since the moment Obama took the oath of office (pick either one you like), the Republican dead-enders in Congress led by the likes of John Boehner in the House and John Cornyn in the Senate have puffed out their chests and stamped their wittle feet in a display of petulance and frustration not usually seen outside of a toddler's day care center. The fact that the Republicans got their asses handed to them in the last two elections still does not seem to have sunk in. Nor do they seem capable of judging the direction and strength of the political winds that are a-blowin'.
They still think that they can strut and posture for the cameras in hopes of getting one good soundbite on CNN or the evening news. They have no real ideas of their own. They know, but will never acknowledge the fact, that we are where we are today because of the power and money crazed orgy they wallowed in for the last eight years. If sanctimony was Viagra they'd all have 24/7 erections.
They choose now to call themselves the "loyal opposition". That's the mother lode of their bullshit. They have convinced themselves that by continuing the same ideological game plan they have been following for the last three decades that somehow the magic will strike again. So the name of the game is to delay, oppose, and obstruct. And they only way that they can accomplish this is to dissemble, obfuscate, create straw man arguments, manufacture doomsday scenarios, and basically outright lie. Or to put it more succinctly bullshit the American public.
Unfortunately, around 2006, the American electorate awoke to find themselves knee-deep in bullshit. We've been digging ourselves out since then. It's pretty deep still. And the last thing we want is any more being piled on top.
Now where did I put that wand?