They year started off with a bang, when the Chicago Sun-Times ran a front page photo of Clinton and Obama and the word “Race.” The photo was unmistakably Photoshopped— Hillary had bright red lipstick smeared on her face. But what was the point? Hillary as a harlot? Obama as a pimp? Obamara hit her? Never found out. A Sun-Times representative vehemently denied the photo was faked, gave no explanation and the photo disappeared from cyberspace. (At least I couldn’t find it in a half-hour Google search recently.)
January
The Chicago Sun-times sets the tone.
February
WHY OBAMA COULD WIN: Signed on with the Obama Website
It was organized, smart, interactive, with fast checkout/delivery on all items.
March
OBAMA AS PRESIDENT: How would he do?
Great, I’m sure. But then, after four years of Bush, I would have voted for a talking spoon.
April
PROTECTING THE PUBLIC MORALS: McCainspace.com’s Alphabetical Vigilance
Most people earnestly (and creatively) learned how comply with the robot’s vigilant "moral force." I had fun showing it to friends! (mASSchucets! ASSets! ClASS!)
May
PASSAGE OF THE GI BILL: The credit goes to...
John McCain! Bush credits John McCain! Who was against it. Just a few days prior. (Even my memory holds for three days!) LIES!
June
BEST ADVICE FROM A FRIEND: “Start watching MSNBC’s Countdown!”
After she listened to me complain once more about cowardly primetime news anchors.
Keith Olbermann: His unofficial tagline, “Speaks truth to power?” That’s nice. But, speaking truth to insanity? Priceless! (And then just a few months later, The Rachel Maddow Show!)
Rachel Maddow: “The kinder/gentler Keith Olbermann.” I read that a lot. But guests on her show taken in by the dazzling smile, found her teeth were just as sharp.
July
RACISM TO RETAIL: The Sock Puppet Monkey(s).
Most everyone heard about the “The Obama Monkey” (as it was later called). But! Did you see the later added “The McCain Monkey?”
Apparently, the McCain monkey must be a Barbary Macaque, as it has no tail. Obama’s does. (Both still available!)
August
DECISIVE ACTION: Defenders of Wildlife Takes on Palin
With McCain getting a free ride from the media, I was almost sorta kinda hoping that McCain would drop kick a puppy into the press corp, forcing the animal protection organizations to be brought into the fray. McCain did even better- he picked shoot-baby-wolf-pups-from-helicopters Sarah Palin! Defenders fired off a press memo the very next day. I waited, sure that other animal groups would be right behind. They weren’t. So I wrote them, quit them and gave this group my money.
WHY OBAMA CAN’T WIN: Too thin.
Rupert Murdoch said it, someone in the UK made it a catchphrase- “Too Thin to Win.” Genius! Forget those, what.. six? eight? twelve? racial euphemisims. C’mon White People, give it a try. (Elbow nudge) “Obama is.. TOO THIN.. to win.” (Wink, wink.) Really, try it. Saves lots of time. (And I typeset it, suitable for poster or button.)
September
OBAMA WEIGHT-LOSS PLAN: Prioritization!
Supporting Obama and countless other dems costs a lot. Giving up a daily smoothie or a Frosty, easy decision. And I lost an easy eight pounds! (Why thanks, Barack!)
REPUBLICANS: Stand By Their Man. (Eventually.)
Almost a full-month after he got the party’s nomination, McCain’s site looked much like the Maytag repairman’s apartment. Not a lot goin’ on and pretty lonley before contributors came to his rescue and “mccainspaced” him. A bio, a photo, a cover story about baseball. (Apparently, the RNC didn’t know they were supposed to actually help him out.)
October
PROTECTING THE PUBLIC MORALS: Letters-to-the-Editors Commenting When No One Plays Nice Anymore
Cook County Sherrif Thomas Dart refused to evict lied-to residents from forclosed properties. (Finally, a “feel-good story” and I needed one.) But after after reading three paragraphs of OT right-wing troll vitriol on immigrants, “those people” and “them” I knew the perfect response: “F**k you.” Yes, “f**k you.” Says it all. But I knew the Sun-Times would not let me offend their delicate sensiblities. (But “hell” or “damn,” wouldn’t work either.) “Harshly-worded language” wasn’t going to do it for me and I’m never sure if the old standby “!#$%*” is correct. (Is ‘#’ before or after ‘!’ ) Gave up, logged on to the Southern Poverty Law Center and left them a long rant and $120.
November
TURNAROUND TREND: Blazingly fast online contributing
Numerous Democrats in tight races desperately asked for money and got it, in record time. And sometimes sent out an email the next day: “We met our goal! Um... thanks?”
ON-GOING Adventures
URBAN MYTH: The Alleged Appeal of Sarah Palin To Men
Read that men found the 2008 version Sarah Palin as... attractive. The perpetually clenched jaw, grating voice, burlesque wink? Really?
Men! Do yourself a favor and rent Tightrope (1978 with Genevieve Bujold and Clint Eastwood). See what a playful/sexy wink actually looks like. (Link below, Tightrope)
http://good-times.webshots.com/...
OLBYWATCH WEBSITE: Honesty in Posting
Robert Cox (Managing Editor), to his own site: “In case you were wondering, there is no nudity in this post or in the video. The use of the word “naked” is just a shameless ploy to generate traffic from Goodle and on YouTube. I wouldn’t do it expect it works and gets us ratings... a tried and true ‘sweep week’ ratings stunt.”
Cox Compassionate Conservatism: “And if you are still wondering... the use of the word “slut” is just a joke. Get it?... So please consider the term “naked little media slut” as our homage...” “(oposition to any posts) ...that are obnoxious and offensive as this one. Even I was not comfortable posting it.” (But, of course, he did.)
Above language was directed at a woman Olbermann may have been dating. Cox’ justification is that she was a “media person” therefore fair game. (But really, if she OWNS a TV set, that would be enough.)
Dishonesty to Advertisers: (Presumably also Robert Cox, on "blogads.") “With our nightly reviews of Countdown, acerbic, yet hilarious commentaries and roundups of all things “KO,” OlbermannWatch serves up red hot rhetoric that keeps KO fans and critics alike coming back for more.”
“With a right-of-center perspective balanced by a wide-open commenting policy everyone gets a say!” (By what dictionary in which galaxy?)
SECOND LIFE VIRTUAL REALITY:Where McCain supporters kicked zeros and ones
Obama and McCain both had respectable headquarters and free virtual t-shirts. But the McCain site also had numbeous rallies, events and interaction.
Imagine what could have happened. A photo-op with McCain and the guys who built the site to support him. They’d set him up online, he’d create his avatar, make a surprise visit. He wouldn’t have to type, because they would use an iMac with technologies for the disabled. (Why, isn’t that the kind of technology a disabled returning vet could use, too?)
But no! Better to have McCain stand alone in a supermarket. In the processed cheese aisle.
December
GOP YEAR-LONG LUNACY: Defended the indefensible.
And brought back vintage 60’s racism. The idiocy of “debating” if Negroes- or people with brains- could/would/should be offended by “Barack The Magic Negro” is an odd way to end out the year, but one totally in keeping with the party’s determined self-immolation. One quote just says it all, for a very strange year.
Rachel Maddow: “You stay classy GOP, don’t ever change.”