This ring on my finger.
What is it? What does it mean?
Opponents of gay marriage always talk about preserving the sanctity of marriage. But marriage is now a thing that’s about privilege and discrimination. As strong and unchanged as my love for my wife is, I have to say that my marriage feels pretty cheap right now. It feels dirty.
I married my wife this past June. This is the first GLBT ballot initiative/law/amendment/thingy that’s happened since then. I’m surprised by how much it’s affected me.
People who love each other should be able to get married. Period. End of discussion.
I thought that this ring on my finger was because I love my wife. I thought it was that simple.
But apparently I’m wrong. Apparently I only get to wear this ring because of a roll of the dice, a coin toss somewhere in the womb. I was born heterosexual, therefore I get to wear the ring.
But after tonight, every time I look at this ring I’ll be wondering who doesn’t get to wear it. I’ll be wondering who got screwed.
I love my wife with all my heart, and the ring symbolizes that. But from now on, this ring also means Indian caste systems, Alabama church bombings and fire hoses, and Muslim honor killings. This ring means that, just because of the way that I was born, society thinks I’m a better person than somebody just like me who was born different.
It means I’m part of a system of discrimination and inequality.
I know I’m no better. I know their love is just the same as mine. But they don’t get to wear the ring. So what good is it? Why do I need it? Why should I ever wear it again?
Debs is relevant here, I think:
While there is a lower class, I am in it, and while there is a criminal element I am of it, and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free.